Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Wimbledon is Still Cool

Andy Roddick is doing us Yanks proud across the pond, reaching the semis, and telling his fellow pros Mandy Moore stories.

And of course...

Golden Generation Looking Golden.


The Golden Generation looks like they were saving their best for in last chance. On home soil. This would be an impressive way to go out after a national team career of disappointment.

Figo played like he had more to prove than O.J., setting up goals and hitting posts. Right side, left side, whatever. The old maestro was pissed after missing all the fun in the win over England.

Maniche scored the goal of the good the cameras missed it. Out of nowhere.

We have met the NEW Ronaldo, Portuguese style.

Patrick Kluivert never had a chance.

And the Czechs or Greeks await.

'Genocide' or 'Ethnic Cleansing'? This Must be Decided Upon!

Colin Powell is in Khartoum, Sudan to address the dire situation of militia rebels uprooting more than one million people from their homes. The United States Agency for International Development projects as many as 300,000 deaths by the end of the year.

Hmm. It's good to see Powell (and, conversely, the U.S.) making an appearance, but this might be a good time for the UN to do something other than appear important and regal. Isn't it (not so) funny how the United States is forced to take the lead in these ugly messes while the UN maybe shows up, looks around and says, "Yep, something must be done."

Look, I understand the UN's reluctance to get overly involved in BushCo's debacle in Iraq. It's hard to offer help to someone who, basically, turned his nose up at your advice and told you to $%@# off...and then came back begging, "Pretty please." I can't say I blame the UN for hanging out near the sidelines and trying not to snicker, "Told you so."

That said, the UN needs to grow some balls, and it needs to grow some balls fast. Koffi Annan making an appearance in Sudan because Powell is in the nation doesn't quite cut it.

Powell said that "legal experts" are presently trying to decide whether to describe the sad situation in Sudan as genocide. The administration is currently describing the events as ethnic cleansing.

Well, then, my aplogies. That's an entirely different story. Silly me to get worked up over some good 'ol ethnic cleansing.

And does anyone else feel this warm comfort in knowing that "legal experts" are on the job? Whew!

Oh, yes, I almost forgot: The Khartoum government is interested in striking a deal with rebels that would divide income from untapped oil deposits.

You can almost see the ears of BushCo. suddenly perking up over this tidbit of information. I'm sure it's demanding up-to-date reports from Powell on this potentially lucrative front. In the world of BushCo, oil equals motivation to do the right thing.

Hey, whatever works.

First, however, the UN needs to stop talking and make something happen. Otherwise, what good is it?

And I'm not the first person to ask this question. Far from it.

Trading Places

How long until Orlando Magic fans start mentioning the "c" word?


Yep, the Magic is quickly becoming one of "those" franchises. You know, the type of franchise that couldn't win a bet if you let it place a wager at halftime...of a blowout. If it wasn't for the year-round sunshine, it would probably rain every day down in Orlando.

First, Shaquille O'Neal abruptly left town much the way Babe Ruth left Boston to truly begin his legend.

Then, Grant Hill arrived to serve as franchise savior, only to become one big season-ending injury.

Now, Tracy McGrady, the Magic's link to the NBA, is gone. And please don't tell me Steve Francis is some sort of consolation prize. He's more like a ribbon you get simply for competing then quickly toss in a baby box to never think of again. Admit it, you had tons of these.

OK, OK, Francis isn't that bad, but he's not the type of player you want to build a struggling franchise around, despite what he might tell you. Francis is Pippen, with MJ's ego. Pippen was great and all, but you wouldn't want to build a franchise around him either.

Man, that Grizzlies jersey must not be looking so bad to Stevie Franchise now, huh?

Come on, you have to admit it's kind of hilarious that, just when the Rockets are looking like contenders for the first time in years, Francis is being shipped one step above the CBA. The Magic is bad, and it's going to get worse. Where once he had Yao Ming, Francis will now have a high schooler, Dwight Howard, to avoid passing to. Where once he had Jeff Van Gundy's frantic clipboard diagrams to ignore during timeouts, he'll have...

You know what? I don't even know who Orlando's coach is. Man, it's going to be ugly.

The basketball gods are surely laughing at the perverse justice of it all. See Francis shoot, see Francis drive, see Francis shoot and drive again, see Francis miss the playoffs. The gang at TNT is always looking for guest studio analysts during the playoffs, right? Francis seems a Nick Van Exel sort of way.

McGrady, meanwhile, should go from the NBA wastelands to title contention. The Rockets immediately become major players in a Western Conference that doesn't seem nearly as daunting as it did before its conquerors, the listless Lakers, were unmasked as frauds. Ming-McGrady (or is it McGrady-Ming?) instantly compete for the title of the NBA's top duo. I'm really happy for Yao in this deal. I can't help but root for his success.

Thing is, McGrady doesn't drag around the "selfish" tag despite having more freedom to score in Orlando than a porn star. At least he doesn't deserve it. McGrady should appreciate Yao's domineering presence in a way that Francis' ego would never allow him to. He should have a lot more success too.

Stevie Franchise?

Hey, at least NBA fans in Vancouver finally have something to cheer about. They gotta love this turn of events.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Oh, be quiet

Tom Brady has not yet received the car he was due to get for being named Super Bowl MVP.

Yeah, like Brady needs a new car! Give me a $#%@ break!

How Free is Free?

Well, now. The United States has handed sovereignty to the interim government of Iraq.

While the above sentence may look good on paper (or a computer screen), 'interim' may be the key in the US has carefully chosen favorable Iraqi figures from diverse backgrounds to hold power in the 'interim' until complete chaos breaks out. Or at least until the US can hightail it away from the mess it made.

Am I being a pessimist? Or just a realist? This can be such a fine line.

Part of me wants to jump into the cool pool of warm and fuzzy feelings and view this entire transfer of power as the happy ending to a troubling saga. You know how the saga goes: Saddam is bad, US doesn't like Saddam, US captures Saddam, US gives the Iraqi people their homeland back in the ultimate gesture of goodwill. Cue Elton John song and roll the Disney credits.

I'm sure alot of Republicans view it this way. Morphine addicts, too.

Since my morphine stash has run dry, I have a slightly more skeptical view.

Let's face it, George Bush was more eager to get the blood of the Iraqi war off his hands than Britney Spears is to get hitched when near a Las Vegas chapel.

This transfer of power was the preeminent game of "Hot Potato". BushCo. made one fine mess, and now it cannot wait to let somebody else collect the shattered pieces, pieces of groups of peoples who have not quite fit together for centuries, long before any US military action, long before the US even existed. Of course, knowing the fragile nature of Iraqis geo-political makeup would have required BushCo. to, I don't know, read a history book or pick up a newspaper.

Shiites, Sunnis, Kurds and numerous tribes have made Iraq a divided maelstom of trouble for ages, and now BushCo. apparently feels it fixed everything by dropping some bombs and locking up some of those 'dang a-rab evildoers'.


That's now how it works, George.

Look, selecting a few Iraqis from diverse backgrounds, Iraqis handpicked most likely for their fondness for US interests (namely oil), and throwing them together haphazardly in a lughable effort to create Iraq's 'forefathers' is a lab experiment just waiting to blow up. Or a really good season of MTV's "The Real World".

How long until one of these so-called Iraqi leaders has his name run through the mud puddle of corruption?

Oh, it will happen. Trust me. BushCo. runs with sleaze. It always has.

These Iraqi men are not Washington and Jefferson and Hamilton, rebels who lived and breathed for American freedom.

No, these Iraqi 'leaders' are chums of the Americans, or, more precisely, chums of BushCo. They're puppets. Sycophants. The willing.

Also, the interim Iraqi government has several characters who are already being criticized by Iraqis for being 'too Westernized'. This is a cardinal sin among many Middle Easterners.

OK, maybe the transfer of power will appease the Iraqi people for a few days, weeks, or months. Maybe the euphoria of some (any!) good news will maintain some (any!) peace.

Or maybe not.

Today, just a day after the transfer of power, three more US Marines were killed, a police station was attacked, and various other bouts of gunfire erupted. In Afghanistan, another country we invaded and set up a 'puppet' government in, several people have been murdered in the past few days. Their crime? Registering to vote.

Yep, let freedom reign. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Just wait until the leaders of the various Iraqi religious and ethnic groups begin squabbling and the 'interim' government, built upon desperation, begins to crumble. Just wait until Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Husseini al-Sistani opens his mouth and says something the Iraqi people find profound. (I bet BushCo. is just dreading this possibility.) Or even worse, just wait until the next charismatic insurgent riles up his following. (I bet BushCo. dreads this even more.)

Look, maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe democracy will truly take hold and someday we can ditch brutal American winters for the comfortable beaches of Baghdad where we can drink Coke, talk on cell phones and poke fun at guys in turbans, all in good jest. Maybe someday Iraqi will ditch its status as a world outcast and join the 21st century. Maybe a flower will bloom from the graveyard BushCo. built. We can only hope.

Or maybe BushCo. feels secure in its Iraqi oil interests and is giving the Iraqi people back their government because, well, it couldn't care less about what happens to the Iraqi people.

I know what I think. Am I pessismist or a realist?

Or both?

Monday, June 28, 2004

Freddy and 'Fahrenheit'...What a weekend!

It was quite the weekend. To note:

1) The White Sox took 2 of 3 from the Cubs before
2) landing Freddy Garcia in a blockbuster trade, and
3) Michael Moore's 'Fahrenheit, 9/11' placed another nail (if not many nails) in George Bush's political coffin.

Good stuff, indeed. Let the summer, and Bush's downfall, truly begin.

First, 'Fahrenheit' was a powerful film, a film destined to be remembered for its cultural significance. Am I biased? Yes, I will admit this. I don't like Bush. I've said it before, I'll say it again.

But, can I also say the movie was powerful from a non-biased position? Yes, I can.

The Flint mother whose military son was killed - but not before he referred to Bush as a "fool" in a letter written from the desert Hell of Iraq - produced many tears in a nearly-packed movie house. My throat was mysteriously congested and an unknown liquid began to form in my eyes before, for whatever reason, I began to hum "Boys Don't Cry" by the Cure. I couldn't tell you what that song had to do with the movie. It just popped into my head.


The images of smiling, care-free Iraqis going about their business in March, 2003, just before the bombing began, went a long way in showing what and, more precisely, who we actually attacked. Children. Mothers. Old men. Innocent people. We tend to conveniently forget, or completely ignore, such realities.

American citizens love to mourn the mounting deaths of American soldiers, and this is most understandable and commendable, but very few ever stop to recall that thousands of innocent Middle Easterners have been murdered, that the lives of countless thousands more have been saddened and altered forever, that a nation other than our own has been bombed into the midst of ruin.

And for what? So Bush can feel like a 'war president', a title he proudly bestows upon himself in the film? So Cheney's Halliburton, among other shady companies, can make money? So that the oil is ours, ours, OURS?!?!?

As for Moore bending the facts, this debate is hogwash. Sure, Moore may have worked things in such a way to strengthen his position, but this is what anyone with an agenda will do. It's not deceit, it's delivery. It's not tricky manipulation, it's facts management.

(And let's not forget, Bush and his administration have, for the most part, offered Moore everything he needed to make this film. Who can Bush and Cheney really point fingers at, other than themselves, their lies, their mistakes?)

Moore has an agenda. He admits as much. This is his right.

But Moore does not lie in the film, nor does he skew facts in a way that can be deemed unfair.

Moore merely presents a point of view that is there for the taking. In actuality, Moore really doesn't present anything that any proud Bush-opposer doesn't already know. It's fairly tip-of-the-iceberg stuff. There were no eye-opening, previously unknown nuggets of information that will shock the world. There is, however, plenty of information that the middle-of-the-road American, so important on election day, should be aware of.

Moore made a film that was just sitting there, waiting to be made. And props to him for that. America needed it, Moore delivered.

Personally, I find the argument that Moore is pompous, arrogant, and self-serving to be weak. In 'Fahrenheit', as well as his other films, Moore comes across simply as a man who has issues with certain facets of society...then puts in the time, money, and effort to address the said issues.

What's the harm in this? How is this 'arrogance'?

This isn't arrogance. This is getting up on a soapbox and offering the truth, no matter how ugly.

Moore already has our money. ($9! What an outrage!) Good for him. Now he deserves a little thanks.

He's earned it.


Speaking of gratitude, White Sox GM Kenny Williams deserves a little love for aquiring Freddy Garcia from the Mariners, beating out several other big-name, contending clubs.

(Chicago GMs everywhere should take notes.)

Say what you will about Williams, but he's always wheeling and dealing, always tinkering and gambling, always messing about, looking for a way to the promised land. This is the first requirement of any GM...find a way!

Of course, Williams' previous mid-seasons mad dashes for big names have produced, well, three consectuive second-place finishes. Yet again, however, Williams has given Sox fans a little (or alot of) hope heading into the second half of the season.

Sox fans have a reason to care, which is all they really want. Well, that and cheaper beer at the Cell.

For a team that has, honestly, relied on a four-man rotation all season, Garcia's arrival suddenly makes the Sox starting pitcher picture...crowded? Hmm? How did this happen?

Well, minor league kickabouts, Felix Diaz and Jon Rauch, both so god awful in their previous attempts to solidify the Sox' tortured fifth spot in the rotation, each pitched - surprise, surprise! - gems in the past week.

How many Cubs fans were saying "Who the #$%@ was that?" after Diaz's surprisingly masterful performance on Saturday afternoon? Heck, how many Sox fans were saying the same thing?

Suddenly, when Scott Schoeneweis returns from the DL, the Sox have six potential starters for five spots. This is a big improvement over the four-guys-for-five-spots dilemma they've been dealing with since Opening Day. Kudos to Ozzie Guillen for having the Sox within a game of first place with, essentially, one hand behind his back.

What a huge week awaits the Sox: three games apiece in the Metrodome and at Wrigley Field.

With the schedule nearly at the midway point, this would be a perfect time for the Sox to really get the good times rolling.

Hey, why not?

Wednesday, June 23, 2004



So Italy was eliminated. Well, well, well. Done in by a possibly scandalous Scandinavian pair. What a sad story this Italian tale turned out to be.

Spitting in peoples faces and going home. At least the pasta is nice.

And what of Denmark and Sweden "playing" to a mysterious 2-2 tie? Weren't those the correct numbers to assure both Scandinavian neighbors advancing?

That's just scandalous! (Add the Copenhagen dance club, dance floor beat here.)

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Whatever. Both Denmark and Sweden have fared well when advancing to the knockout stages of major tourneys in the least somewhat...from time to time.

The Italians go back to their beautiful women. Poor guys.


Yep, you could almost see it coming after Monday's one-run effort.

Sox 11, Indians 9. Extra innings.

If the Sox aren't getting completely shutdown, they're playing in, and usually winning, wild shootouts. Slugfests.

These guys need pills or something.

Jose Valentin had the big hit, the biggest hit. I'm not surprised.

Jon Rausch, the once condemned one, the but now-he's-back one, the pray-like-hell-he-is-the-fifth-starter one, was at home plate congratulating Valentin, for what it's worth. He looked happy.

Hey, Rausch really CAN find the time to stick around for the full nine innings. I guess he had nothing better to do. Who knows?

Now if only he can pitch six or seven good innings on Thursday...he can be at the bar by the eighth for all I care.

Shingo = shutdown.


No, really, Farnsworth did get da win. And Derrek Lee has been da man in June.

Da Cubs.


Apparently, she pops up under "conspiracy theory". Who knew?

Tuesday, June 22, 2004


The kid is alright.

Wayne Rooney, already a star at 18, has scored four times in the past two games and England is on a roll, scoring lots of goals and winning impressively.

And with style.

This is a fast-paced English side that does not play with all defense in mind, much like the Premier League which breeds it. Wide open. Counterattacks. Pretty goals. The Brits are rolling, and fun to watch.

But they now face a major bump in the road...

During the second half of England's 4-2 win over Croatia, it briefly looked like it would get EURO 2004's Cinderella surprise, Greece, in the quarterfinals as the knockouts begin. Instead, two second-half goals from Thierre Henry against the Swiss helped earn the French a date with the Greeks, who know nothing about being this far in a major tournament.

Hey, props to the Greeks, but France looks like a safe bet to make the semifinals.

Yep, England will instead get the suddenly strong Portuguese, the hosts, who are now feeling good, having recovered from their disastrous opening loss to Greece with a pair of wins.

I think it's reasons like this that the British don't like the least on paper.

How happy must Portugal be after knocking out Spain, their more glamorous big brother next door? Once again, the Spanish don't fail to disappoint.

Bye-bye, Spain. Maybe next time...or the next.


...because the rest of the boys only had one - combined.

OK, I officially don't like C.C. Sabathia's sideways, stiff-brimmed cap...not after he shutdown the White Sox on a dreary night at the Cell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sabathia is good. I know it. How 'bout we make him our fifth starter. I'd love his hat then. Really.

In case you haven't noticed, the Indians have just reached the .500 mark at 34-34. This is a big series for the Sox against a team climbing the standings in the AL Central. The series is even more important when you consider the immediate upcoming schedule.

Cubs, at Twins, at Cubs, Angels. This is statement time. This is why Maggs is anxious to return. This is why a fifth starter is needed. This is why I'm nervous.

This is not a wise time for the Sox to continue a current cold streak.

"It's not time to panic. Every game is a big game," said Ozzie Guillen, as he complimented Sabathia and remained positive towards the treacherous road ahead. "Tomorrow is opening day."

Yeah, no kidding. And every inning-ending double play is not an option. Right, Juan Uribe?

It was nice to see Joe Crede double despite his supposed hand injury.


John Kerry announced this past week that he'd like to raise the minimun wage. This can't be a bad thing. Of course, Kerry then high-tailed it to Nantucket for some expensive rest, but we won't mention that.

Listen to this quote from Kerry:

"If a president can go out and fight for four years to provide over a trillion in tax cuts to the wealthiest people in America, we can fight for a few months to raise the minimum wage for the poorest people in America," Kerry told an audience at Northern Virginia Community College.


Look, raising the minimum wage would help alot of people, a concept unashamedly foreign to GeorgeBushCo., which is more into the "screw the poor and give to the rich" mentality.

Vote Kerry.


...because something is up with the D-Rays.

Eleven straight wins! Lou Piniella may soon have to dye his hair or something.

Apparently, the D-Ray players were just waiting until the Tampa spotlight shifted away from the Stanley Cup-winning Lightning. Either that or Piniella is a really good manager.

This is a poll...Will the Devil Rays catch the Yankees and/or Boston?

A) Yes, this can (snicker) really (hee, hee) happen.
B) No way, you're $%#@ crazy!


...when he said, "They got the guns, but we got the numbers."

Abdulaziz al-Mogrin beheaded Paul Johnson in last week's latest sick beheading of an American.

Somebody killed Abdulaziz al-Mogrin. (The a-hole had it coming.)

A bunch of Saudis were very happy about this.

This marks the first time since Saudi Arabia began its fight against terrorism that portions of the Saudi population were openly pleased to see the morons of al-Qaida get thier dubious due. Props to the Saudi people for good taste.

To be honest, I don't have much confidence in the Saudi leaders. Anyone with a friendly history with GeorgeBushCo. makes me worried, if not slightly sick. But I think having the Saudi people - the PEOPLE! - on our side is a good thing. I mean, it can't be bad, right? We're talking millions of people here.

They're just folks like we're just folks.

Break on through to the other side!

WHAT TOOK THEM SO LONG... realize that communication is not a bad thing?

India and Pakistan will set up a nucleur hotline, thus assuring conversations such as the following:

India: "Yeah, Pak? Wassup?"
Pakistan: "Nuttin, dog. Wassup wit you?
India: "Just wanted to see if you still had your arsenal?"
Pakistan: "You know it..and ready to go. You?"
India: "Yup."
Pakistan: "A'ight then."

It all seems kind of idiotic to me, but whatever.


...wake me when he signs.

Tracy McGrady continues his search for a whole shitload of money and a situation that will make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I think I'll care, oh, about the time next year's playoffs begin.

This is a poll...Where will Tracy McGrady end up?

A) Orlando
B) Indiana
C) Houston
D) Phoenix
E) Detroit
F) Portland

Friday, June 18, 2004


Apparently, the French are bulletproof. The supposed favorites have been much more lucky than good.

So far for the fabulously frantic French: A miraculous injury time rapid relief job against England, and a saved point via the tie against Croatia...on an equalizing goal due in large part to an obscene defensive blunder...and an inadvertant, but highly beneficial, handball by David Trezeguet.

Then, Croatia's terribly missed goal in second-half injury time was like a bullet whisking through the French hair...Zinedine Zidane's balding crew cut look even.

And, oh yeah, the first French goal was pretty lucky too, wasn't it?

The French look fragile.

Lucky for the French, the Swiss are up next on the agenda, and the Brits are behind.

'Cause England looks good.

The kid, Wayne Rooney, has been more than up to the hype, and the Swiss were easily handled on three impressive British goals, no set plays or lucky breaks. The Brits are enteraining, the best soccer in EURO 2004 so far!

Incidentally, we need more shots of hot Brit female supporters...and we need them now!

England-Croatia is a virtual playoff game. Both teams should have beaten France.

Incidentally, we need more shots of hot Croatian female supporters...and we need them now!

A playoff atmosphere will also accompany Portugal-Spain. This is do-or-die time for the Portuguese "Golden Generation". If Luis Figo and friends fail to advance to the knockouts - on home soil no less! - their reputation will forever be tarnished. Figo will still have a hot wife, either way.

And who would have thunk the Greeks would be highly responsible for the possible Portuguese collapse? The Greek Cinderella story has a seemingly easy chapter up next with a date with Russia on Monday...a Russian team that has pretty much embarassed itself thus far. (Free Mikhail Khodorkovky! What is this, the Soviet Union?????)

The Greeks have certainly picked a good time to do their country right...what with all the supposedly shoddy Olympics preparations.

The Czechs-Dutch game could be classic. Both teams like to score, unlike the Italians.

Francisco Totti has thoroughly disgraced himself with one well placed wad of spit. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now Totti, and an entire nation, must simply bunker down and hope for the best, which is sorta how the Italians play anyway.

Henrik Larsson is back!


Europe is calling DaMarcus Beasley...and he seems intent on going across the pond.

Fire fans need to say hello to the new Soldiers Field...and cough up some cash to keep Beasley in Chicago.

Wait, do I sound like Jerry Reinsdorf? Help me!!!

But seriously, Beasly is 22-years old, scoring goals for the U.S. national team in World Cup qualifying, coming off an MLS Cup appearing season, and currently spearheading another title-contending Fire team.

Come on!

I'd hate to see Beasley go.

Do what you gotta do, DaMarcus, but you're always welcome here.


Carlos Lee has been due for a breakout...THAT breakout!...for a few seasons now. White Sox fans have been craving it. Lee has been doing his part to fuel the anticipation with solid, if not spectacular, play.

The breakout has arrived. 28 games worth of it.

Lee's just-ended 28-game hitting streak could be his confirmation into the big time. Lee has always been a superstar just waiting to happen. If he continues like this, we're talking MVP candidate.

Cool thing was, Lee was having so much fun all along, pumping his fists and smiling. Such is life with Ozzie in charge. Has anybody noticed how happy Shingo Takatsu looks in his new role as "official' closer?

You should see the smile on my face now that Billy Koch is no longer in town.

How dramatic was Lee's tenth-inning, two-strike double off the wall down in Miami? That last-second, desperation time heroic kept his hitting streak alive by removing Albert Belle from the top of the Sox' record books and, more importantly, capping a come-from-behind win over the World Series champion Marlins. Lee scored the winning run.

Lee will always be more White Sox than Belle, with or without the record.

Here's hoping Lee can eclipse his own record.


* Shingo = shutdown. (In Japanese, I think. OK, I'm making it up.)

* Can we please stop questioning Tiger Woods? This is stupid and boring. Let Woods play his game, get married to a hot chick, and stop answering ridiculous questions by media members with small pens.

Jay Mariotti wrote that he will call him Eldrick until Tiger wins again. I hope Mariotti is kidding. I really do. Mariotti also called Woods a "drag".

...oh yeah, Mariotti sucks.

* Speaking of hot chicks, Larry Brown's wife is hot. Congrats, Larry...on the long sought-after NBA title, that is.

* Timo Perez. That is all.

* Paul Konerko on Carlos Lee's hitting streak: "It was a hell of a run. Good for him."


* I love how the Cubs are playing some of their best baseball...while Kerry Wood and Sammy Sosa are on rehab stints.

Props to Dusty Baker.

A four game sweep of the Astros - IN HOUSTON, NO LESS ! - is impressive stuff. Despite a circus-like rash of injuries, Dusty has the boys right where they need to be. Word.

* Great softball team name: "Five Question Marks".

And, yes, they do exist...the softball team, that is.

* From the "Here's Hoping the Twins Lose" Dept.: THAT WAS A #$%@ FOUL BALL, UMPS!!!!! Yeah, you know what I'm talking 'bout.

* Seemingly everyone associated with the Colorado football program is a complete twat. What a #$%@ joke!!!!!

But nobody is laughing.

Would it be inapproriate of me to say that Katie Hnida is hot? Do I care?

* Tracy McGrady to the Pacers? This could set up next year's potential Pistons-Pacers Eastern Conference title clash in colossal style.

The NBA East is better than the West. Trust me.

* Weird and telling fact: Kobe Bryant had 14 rebounds in five games against the Pistons. Fourteen. In five games. I could probably grab 14 rebounds if given five games to do it...and I was 6-6...and athletically gifted.

* Jeremy Shockey must be upset that he spent valuable offseason time running around with Tara Reid instead of getting his foot diagnosed and healed. Or maybe he isn't. I don't know if I would be. Tara Reid is hot!

* Has anyone noticed that ArenaBowl XVIII between Arizona and San Jose is a classic matchup?

Has anyone noticed that the ArenaBowl is 18 years old?


The 9/11 independent commission disclosed that Osama bin Laden and his terrorist friends originally targeted ten locations, most notably nucleur power plants.

These worthless terrorist punks are absolutely patethic. PATHETIC!!!!! What a bunch of jealous, bored losers!!!!!

Note to terrorists: Get a $#%@ life!!!! The American people have not wronged you! The American people do not hate you. The American people don't even care if you wanna come here!

Get over yourselves already!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave the American people alone, you sad, unhappy a-holes!!!!!! You are barking up the wrong tree.

Terrrorists, #$%@ off!!!!!!!!!!!! Now!!!!!


Ron and Nancy Reagan are right on this one: Stem cell research. And Ron isn't even here. Go Nancy!

While dissenters say it is just a gimmick to capitalize on Ronald Reagan's legacy, the Ronald Reagan Biomedical Research Act would establish a mechanism for embryonic stem cell research. The bill squeaked through the house, 60-56, but fell two votes short in the Senate. Very close.

Stem cell studies could possibly aid in defeating, or at least treating, diseases such as Alzheimer's, among others.

This is not a bad thing.

Interesting thing is, the proposed bill would make it a felony to clone a baby.

This means: no futuristic, sci-fi, scary stuff...just maybe helping sick people.

GeorgeBushCo. has vehemently opposed stem cell research behind ignorant, holy rolling, religion-influenced, closed eyes, blah, blah, blah, bull#$%@. The right wingers really need to catch up to the times. Or maybe they just don't like sick people.

The Reagans are pretty cool...for Republicans.

What can stem cell research hurt? Embryos?

Believe me, if you ask the embryos, they'll tell you they're just happy to be alive. Sort of. Life in a tube, baby!!!

I've talked to embryos, by the way. Nice people.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

EURO 2004 - Day 1.

Greece 2
Portugal 1

Spain 1
Russia 0


The Greeks have won! They've defeated the hosts! Who woulda' thunk it?


Oops, we #$%@ed up!

That's about all the so-called "Golden Generation" of Portugal soccer can offer the Portuguese fans at this point.

Things could get ugly. Fast.

The host Portuguese lost to one of the two "How the #$%@ did they qualify?" teams...Greece. (Latvia is even more mysterious.) Next up for the unfortunate host Portuguese is a pair of countries with formidable reputations...Spain and Russia.

Have fun.

One thing is certain: Portugal had no intention of just squeaking by into the knockouts. Now, that is their fate.

Meanwhile, Spain beat Russia 1-0. Thus, the Spaniards make the first positive step on the road to certain disappointment.

Spain is hot.

And in related news: Red Sox fans are thinking World Series title, the Reds are really, really good, and the Brewers are playing .500 ball.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Are Miami, Texas, Florida St and LSU still alive?

The Super Regionals begin today (Friday) as college baseball continues to gain in exposure. This shit is growing...or at least it's on TV before reaching Omaha. Cool.

For the quick lowdown check out Zlax here.

Today's Poll - Where Should the Wandering Expos Make Their Permanent Home?

A.) Montreal - You say keep them in Canada because there has never been a World Series in Montreal. Might be nice. Vive la France and all that jazz. The hockey fans are crazy in love with the hockey team, so why not baseball? It would probably help if they were given the chance to see the good times every once in a while.

When was the last time the Expos were in the World Series? Oops, I meant playoffs.

Crazy thing is, the Expos have produced arguably the best crop of talent in all of baseball over the last couple of decades. It's at least worth a discussion. Randy Johnson. Pedro Martinez. Vladimir Guerrero. The list goes on. They have been the ultimate farm team. To have an empty playoff past with that kind of talent is a complete injustice to Expos fans. Or potential Expos fans. Or just some folks in Montreal who know the Expos exist.

With a new stadium and competent management, baseball in Montreal might be fun.

B) Puerto Rico - You think crazy Puerto Ricans with not much to do other than rabidly follow a baseball team might be a nice atmoshpere in the sun to see a ballgame. Or get drunk.

C) Washington D.C./Northern Virginia - You say D.C. because you feel that everything you write - and/or vote on - is being monitored by neo-fascist, wire tapping, paranoid Big Brothers in high places who will never, ever forget that you defiantly turned your back on the capital in its most dire time of need, you evildoer.

Also, you feel past baseball experiments here have gone well.

D) Mexico City - See Puerto Rico, then multiply it by millions. This is a fanbase that would make New York look like a preseason trip to the Clippers.

E) Portland - You say the Great Northwest because you love Ralph Nader and all that trendy, hippie-ish, new movement liberal jive and, don't worry, we are on to you, troublemaker.

F) Chicago or Boston - You think these cities deserve another lottery ball, so to speak.

G) Baghdad - You think this would be a great way to introduce democracy. Give them a team like the Cubs or Red Sox and any potential hatred for the West will be spent on sorrow, shock, dismay, anger and disappointment.

H) - Havana - You think that Cuba is a classic, great baseball nation with fervent fans and I bet you're into Communisim, aren't you, you porn-viewing, godless liberal?

I) Who the #$%@ cares? - You're just shocked that the Expos still exist. You thought they had been contracted or something.

J) Other - You explain.

A Big, Fat Whoopin'

The Pistons win big, go up 2-1, and make it look, oh, so eeeeeeeasy. Diddy is delighted.

Suddenly, the Lakers look...old and overmatched. And really thin.

Suddenly, the Lakers set a franchise-low for points in a playoff five days.

Suddenly, Joe Dumars looks like a genius. Carmelo who?

Suddenly, Rasheed Wallace looks sane.

Suddenly, Phil Jackson looks worried.

Suddenly, Kobe's miracle looks like an aberration.

Slowly, I'm sorta getting used to Richard Hamilton's face shield protector whatchamacallit.

Suddenly, Larry Brown looks like he might be getting something he has been searching for for a long, long time.

Suddenly, the question has morphed from "Can the Pistons do it?" into "Will the series make it back to Hollywood?"

Suddenly, Detroit may set itself on fire soon.

Suddenly, I remember that the Lakers have been dead before.

World Bowl XII...

...will be played on Saturday between the Berlin Thunder and Frankfurt Galaxy.

As if you didn't know.

Word is, Kurt Warner will be in attendance to get some "feelers" on possible employment for the 2005 season after he is booed out of the Big Apple.

Remember Rohan Davey? The plump QB with the rocket arm from LSU? Well, he was named the league MVP after leading the Thunder to a 9-1 record (their one loss was by a point) with a 105.6 QB rating.

Cue sarcasm:

Davey is the property of the Patriots, which is a good thing, as the Pats desperately need a QB. Maybe he can give a boost to a franchise that can really use one.

(Out of the side of my mouth: $%#@^%$ Patriots.)

Tune in if only for the European cheerleaders.

Parcells and Bird have nothing on her

Brigitte Bardot proves that racially sensitive remarks aren't just for men.

Jeez...people, lighten up! Since when is it a crime to have an opinion?

I'm not saying Bardot's comments are a good thing, but should she just shut up? Or turn her brain off?

Where would the world be without the brain power of sex kittens?


Actually, I just wanted to post a picture of Bardot in her prime. She was abslutely #@%$ CLASSIC!!!!!


Slowly But Surely

Well, the "braintrust" that runs the NCAA sure doesn't like to do thing the easy, or quick, way...but they are getting there.

Bottom line is this: If the new system gives the nation a true and honorable title game, this is a good thing. We all know USC and LSU should have clashed last year.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Please say you're only joking. Please.

If Jesus Christ hadn't risen from the dead, he'd surely be spinning in his grave right now.

Read the following and soak up the irony:

Mel Gibson's film-distribution outfit is suing Regal Entertainment Group for $40 million or more, claiming the movie chain shortchanged the company on revenues from "The Passion of the Christ."

Regal, the nation's largest movie chain, agreed to pay Gibson's Icon Distribution 55 percent of receipts but reneged in May and offered only 34 percent, George Hedges, an attorney for Icon, said Tuesday.

Icon filed the lawsuit Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court, saying Regal owed the company "in excess" of $40 million.

This is pathetic...absolutely pathetic.

I suppose it was inevitable that a movie that raked at the box office was destined for a debacle such as this...even if the movie was about Jesus, who, if I remember correctly, had a beef with greed. I wonder if any of the people involved in this ugly mess even know the meaning of the word "irony". How about "losers"? Maybe "blood suckers"?

Gods are surely shaking their heads. Or laughing. Or maybe they're not even paying attention anymore.

If I'm the court appointed to deal with these a-holes, I make them give all the money to charity. Thing is, none of these jokers even need the cash. None!

They're all loaded! Rich! Wealthy! Rolling in dough!

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Are you a genius?

Count the "F's" in the following text:


Managed it? Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay?

How many?


Wrong, there are 6 !!--no joke.
Read it again.
The brain cannot process "OF".
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Norman Einstein was a genius. He had to be to create electricity.

At least Reagan wasn't a "War President"

"War Presidents" are the worst. Bush II is a "War President" and, coincidentally, he is also the worst. Reagan, at least, wasn't a "War President". Nobody looks back at the '80s and says, "Yeah, I remember the '80s. That's when we were at war with..."

Oh sure, Reagan was deluded with some highly disturbing plans and preparations for world chaos. All of his military broo-ha-ha bullshit was completely the antics of a nutball.

What should we spend our money on? What would really give America a little kick in the tail? about missles spread about outer space so we can destruct our planet from any possible angle at whatever time we choose. Yeah! It sounds so movie-like! Yippee! Sounds fun!

Sounds like a nutball.

That is straight-down-the-line, right wing, war sickened, paranoid nutballism. People who show any - ANY! - sign of putting bullets and blood as their ultimate priority should never be allowed near a political office. Or children.

Reagan's cute rage against Communism, or the "Evil Empire" as he must have feared and loathed it, is an example of his us-vs.-them, we-have-more-guns-than-them idiocy. Let's get off the playground, boys.

It cracks me up how people talk of Reagan's great role in the collapse of communism. Give me a break. That ill conceived debacle was due to fall. I think it had something to do with the masses being controlled and poor and hopeless. And sick of it. Communism, as the USSR ran it, was always due to blow up in its own face. Eventually.

It was cool of Reagan to speak up against the cold reality of Communism, and I'm sure it helped, but please don't tell me Reagan and his jelly beans were the hand that crushed the Commies.

Communism crushed its people and, therefore, itself.

But give Reagan credit for one thing. At least, under his leadership there was no "Great War" to control our way of thinking, no "Great War" to continually corrupt our senses, no "Great War" offering nothing but bad news multiplying itself.

Oh sure, Reagan had some tiny, essentially meaningless, incredibly weaker countries to attack and set up puppet governments in, but those skirmishes pale next to the monstrosity of a mess that is Iraq.

Hey, even Clinton had his little shindigs in exotic places like Bosnia and Somalia. Shit happens.

However, the military moments of Clinton and Reagan, their "wars", were short and sweet. They came. They sucked. They were over. Back home we heard of them, and then they were gone. The news was grim, but fleeting.

Were their "wars" good or bad? That is for you to decide.

The America of Reagan was relatively peaceful. No matter how many guns were in aimed positions, not many shots were fired. And when they were, the spray of bullets was relatively short.

Bush, however, has made America a place of permanent war. Think about it...everyday we are at war.


For that, and for that alone, Bush II should be escorted away from his office. And children.