Friday, June 18, 2004

Bulletproof?



Apparently, the French are bulletproof. The supposed favorites have been much more lucky than good.

So far for the fabulously frantic French: A miraculous injury time rapid relief job against England, and a saved point via the tie against Croatia...on an equalizing goal due in large part to an obscene defensive blunder...and an inadvertant, but highly beneficial, handball by David Trezeguet.

Then, Croatia's terribly missed goal in second-half injury time was like a bullet whisking through the French hair...Zinedine Zidane's balding crew cut look even.

And, oh yeah, the first French goal was pretty lucky too, wasn't it?

The French look fragile.

Lucky for the French, the Swiss are up next on the agenda, and the Brits are behind.

'Cause England looks good.

The kid, Wayne Rooney, has been more than up to the hype, and the Swiss were easily handled on three impressive British goals, no set plays or lucky breaks. The Brits are enteraining, the best soccer in EURO 2004 so far!

Incidentally, we need more shots of hot Brit female supporters...and we need them now!

England-Croatia is a virtual playoff game. Both teams should have beaten France.

Incidentally, we need more shots of hot Croatian female supporters...and we need them now!

A playoff atmosphere will also accompany Portugal-Spain. This is do-or-die time for the Portuguese "Golden Generation". If Luis Figo and friends fail to advance to the knockouts - on home soil no less! - their reputation will forever be tarnished. Figo will still have a hot wife, either way.

And who would have thunk the Greeks would be highly responsible for the possible Portuguese collapse? The Greek Cinderella story has a seemingly easy chapter up next with a date with Russia on Monday...a Russian team that has pretty much embarassed itself thus far. (Free Mikhail Khodorkovky! What is this, the Soviet Union?????)

The Greeks have certainly picked a good time to do their country right...what with all the supposedly shoddy Olympics preparations.

The Czechs-Dutch game could be classic. Both teams like to score, unlike the Italians.

Francisco Totti has thoroughly disgraced himself with one well placed wad of spit. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now Totti, and an entire nation, must simply bunker down and hope for the best, which is sorta how the Italians play anyway.

Henrik Larsson is back!



** DON'T GO DAMARCUS



Europe is calling DaMarcus Beasley...and he seems intent on going across the pond.

Fire fans need to say hello to the new Soldiers Field...and cough up some cash to keep Beasley in Chicago.

Wait, do I sound like Jerry Reinsdorf? Help me!!!

But seriously, Beasly is 22-years old, scoring goals for the U.S. national team in World Cup qualifying, coming off an MLS Cup appearing season, and currently spearheading another title-contending Fire team.

Come on!

I'd hate to see Beasley go.

Do what you gotta do, DaMarcus, but you're always welcome here.

** PROPS TO CARLOS



Carlos Lee has been due for a breakout...THAT breakout!...for a few seasons now. White Sox fans have been craving it. Lee has been doing his part to fuel the anticipation with solid, if not spectacular, play.

The breakout has arrived. 28 games worth of it.

Lee's just-ended 28-game hitting streak could be his confirmation into the big time. Lee has always been a superstar just waiting to happen. If he continues like this, we're talking MVP candidate.

Cool thing was, Lee was having so much fun all along, pumping his fists and smiling. Such is life with Ozzie in charge. Has anybody noticed how happy Shingo Takatsu looks in his new role as "official' closer?

You should see the smile on my face now that Billy Koch is no longer in town.

How dramatic was Lee's tenth-inning, two-strike double off the wall down in Miami? That last-second, desperation time heroic kept his hitting streak alive by removing Albert Belle from the top of the Sox' record books and, more importantly, capping a come-from-behind win over the World Series champion Marlins. Lee scored the winning run.

Lee will always be more White Sox than Belle, with or without the record.

Here's hoping Lee can eclipse his own record.

** RANDOM THOUGHTS:

* Shingo = shutdown. (In Japanese, I think. OK, I'm making it up.)

* Can we please stop questioning Tiger Woods? This is stupid and boring. Let Woods play his game, get married to a hot chick, and stop answering ridiculous questions by media members with small pens.

Jay Mariotti wrote that he will call him Eldrick until Tiger wins again. I hope Mariotti is kidding. I really do. Mariotti also called Woods a "drag".

...oh yeah, Mariotti sucks.

* Speaking of hot chicks, Larry Brown's wife is hot. Congrats, Larry...on the long sought-after NBA title, that is.

* Timo Perez. That is all.

* Paul Konerko on Carlos Lee's hitting streak: "It was a hell of a run. Good for him."

Word.

* I love how the Cubs are playing some of their best baseball...while Kerry Wood and Sammy Sosa are on rehab stints.

Props to Dusty Baker.

A four game sweep of the Astros - IN HOUSTON, NO LESS ! - is impressive stuff. Despite a circus-like rash of injuries, Dusty has the boys right where they need to be. Word.

* Great softball team name: "Five Question Marks".

And, yes, they do exist...the softball team, that is.

* From the "Here's Hoping the Twins Lose" Dept.: THAT WAS A #$%@ FOUL BALL, UMPS!!!!! Yeah, you know what I'm talking 'bout.

* Seemingly everyone associated with the Colorado football program is a complete twat. What a #$%@ joke!!!!!

But nobody is laughing.

Would it be inapproriate of me to say that Katie Hnida is hot? Do I care?

* Tracy McGrady to the Pacers? This could set up next year's potential Pistons-Pacers Eastern Conference title clash in colossal style.

The NBA East is better than the West. Trust me.

* Weird and telling fact: Kobe Bryant had 14 rebounds in five games against the Pistons. Fourteen. In five games. I could probably grab 14 rebounds if given five games to do it...and I was 6-6...and athletically gifted.

* Jeremy Shockey must be upset that he spent valuable offseason time running around with Tara Reid instead of getting his foot diagnosed and healed. Or maybe he isn't. I don't know if I would be. Tara Reid is hot!



* Has anyone noticed that ArenaBowl XVIII between Arizona and San Jose is a classic matchup?

Has anyone noticed that the ArenaBowl is 18 years old?

*TERRORISTS SUCK

The 9/11 independent commission disclosed that Osama bin Laden and his terrorist friends originally targeted ten locations, most notably nucleur power plants.

These worthless terrorist punks are absolutely patethic. PATHETIC!!!!! What a bunch of jealous, bored losers!!!!!

Note to terrorists: Get a $#%@ life!!!! The American people have not wronged you! The American people do not hate you. The American people don't even care if you wanna come here!

Get over yourselves already!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave the American people alone, you sad, unhappy a-holes!!!!!! You are barking up the wrong tree.

Terrrorists, #$%@ off!!!!!!!!!!!! Now!!!!!

STEM CELL SQUABBLE



Ron and Nancy Reagan are right on this one: Stem cell research. And Ron isn't even here. Go Nancy!

While dissenters say it is just a gimmick to capitalize on Ronald Reagan's legacy, the Ronald Reagan Biomedical Research Act would establish a mechanism for embryonic stem cell research. The bill squeaked through the house, 60-56, but fell two votes short in the Senate. Very close.

Stem cell studies could possibly aid in defeating, or at least treating, diseases such as Alzheimer's, among others.

This is not a bad thing.

Interesting thing is, the proposed bill would make it a felony to clone a baby.

This means: no futuristic, sci-fi, scary stuff...just maybe helping sick people.

GeorgeBushCo. has vehemently opposed stem cell research behind ignorant, holy rolling, religion-influenced, closed eyes, blah, blah, blah, bull#$%@. The right wingers really need to catch up to the times. Or maybe they just don't like sick people.

The Reagans are pretty cool...for Republicans.

What can stem cell research hurt? Embryos?

Believe me, if you ask the embryos, they'll tell you they're just happy to be alive. Sort of. Life in a tube, baby!!!

I've talked to embryos, by the way. Nice people.


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