Thursday, July 15, 2004

(Republican Party) Pooper



Mike Ditka has decided against running for Senate, further sending the Republican party into the depths of embarassment. Suddenly, Jack Ryan - and his whips and chains and rubber underwear - doesn't look so bad, though his ex-wife, Jeri Ryan, undoubtedly, would look much better. (In the words of Michael Stipe, "My mind is racing...")

While Ditka's decision is probably a good thing, making Barack Obama's already easy ride a little easier, this Senate race sure isn't going to be as much fun as it briefly looked like it might be. That is, if anything to do with politicians can be considered "fun", which I doubt, though I think Jack Ryan was headed in the right direction.

Unless...

From the "I'm not making this up" files: Ted Nugent - yes, that Ted Nugent (is there any other?) - falls prey to the traps of a misleading ego and tosses himself in front of the oncoming train that is this essentially unwinnable race. The St. Viator grad's name has been mentioned, although it is questionable as to whether this is a legitimate possibility, or merely the first "cuckoo-cukoo" sound of the Republicans officially losing their minds.

Oh, sure, Nugent is well known for his ultraconservative ways, but still...Come on! The Nuge? In the words of John McEnroe, "You cannot be serious!"

EYE CHECKUP TIME
This is an eye exam. Which picture looks better?

Number 1...


...or number 2?


Again. Number 1...


...or number 2?


OK, OK, I'll freely admit that I'll take virtually any rock'n'roller over any politician almost any day of the week. Many rock'n'rollers are intelligent artists with genuinely healthy and progressive views of the world, while many politicians are con artists with genuinely healthy and progressive views of the selfish interests of themselves and their cronies.

I'll also admit that, yeah, I kind of like Nugent in a loudmouthed, brashly conservative, hey-let's-go-out-and-kill-things-with-guns sort of way. He amuses me, and seems like a friendly guy. Do I dare say, a good guy?

That said, this is a no brainer.

I mean, Nugent's music isn't even all that good. Name five of his songs. Go ahead, I dare you.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Spider said...

Lets See

Free for All
Wango Tango
Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
Dog Eat Dog
Motor City Mad House
Kiss My Ass
Stranglehold
Cat Scratch Fever
Great White Buffalo

i'm 15 and thats without even lookin anything up

7:01 PM  

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