Warner to Chicago? No...Lisa Dergan? Hell, Yeah!
Let me be very, very blunt here: Kurt Warner sucks. Period.
There have been rumblings about the Bears bringing in Warner this offseason, leaving me with one question: Why does God hate Bears fans? We don't need this. We already have David Terrell. Isn't that punishment enough?
I would describe Warner as being the ultimate flash in the pan or a three-year wonder. I'm not taking anything away from what Warner accomplished with the Rams as that would be absurd, not to mention unfair. Two MVP trophies and two Super Bowl appearances are nothing to sneeze at. I also would stop short of calling Warner a mere product of the system, although the Rams did surround him with an array of offensive weaponry that was simply scary. But to say that any quarterback could have stepped into that lineup and produced what Warner did? Ridiculous.
Thing is, those days are done. And so is Warner. Picking him up now, as he firmly steps into the washed up/desperate journeyman stage of his career, would be a pointless move. And, yes, sadly, it also sounds like something the Bears would do.
I am quickly losing faith in GM Jerry Angelo. I never had an abundance of faith in the guy, but I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt as he is relatively new to the job. However, this is a guy who mysteriously gave Quasim Mitchell a big, fat extension midseason. Is Angelo watching the same games that us fans are? To be blunt, Mitchell is one sorry-ass offensive lineman. He's good for giving up roughly two sacks and two holding penalties per game. He's gawdawful. Am I wrong here? Look, nothing against Mitchell, but he should be purged from the roster, not given million-dollar contract extensions in the middle of the season. I mean, of all the Bears that could be locked up...
Anyway, if Warner is brought in as the third or fourth stringer, fine then. Having an ex-Super Bowl QB that far down your roster can't be a bad thing. However, if Warner is the dude you want to come in should Rex Grossman get hurt - and thus far Grossman can be adequately described as 'injury-prone' - you're screwed. Believe me, it would be roughly three series before "Kurt Warner face" showed up. You know the face, the face where Warner looks like he can't believe how easy it was when he had Faulk and Bruce and Holt and a carpet.
Look, everybody forgets to mention this, but Jeff George is actually a good QB. Seriously. Bring him back next year. Yeah, his attitude has always been questionable, but he's practically an old man now. He has no qualms about being a backup nor is he any longer expected to be a team leader.
Chad Hutchinson has been decent at times, although, as I see it, he's not quite ready to be a No. 2. Some Bears fans, as well as some so-called experts, think he is a No. 2, but that's only because, as compared to Jonathon "Worst...Quarterback...Ever" Quinn and Craig "I'm About to Dig up My Microbiology Degree" Krenzel, Hutchinson looks like Johnny friggin' Unitas. He's not ready yet.
Of course, I could slip into fantasy mode and hope that the Bears go after Drew Brees. (Hold on a sec...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!)
OK, I'm back...
Look, Grossman, Hutchinson and George are in the mix for next year. Yes, another veteran quarterback should be brought in, preferably someone who would be the No. 2. But Warner is not that guy, nor should Angelo have any false illusions that he is.
** I've been a tad tormented by the Carlos Lee-for-Scott Podsednik trade. It has its good points, such as...
1) The White Sox have finished in second place enough to finally realize that this shit just ain't working. Few teams in MLB have kept their core together as long as these White Sox have. Lee and Magglio Ordonez, both gone now, are (were) at the heart of it all.
2) Lee supposedly has a questionable attitude. Allegedly, he's a very poor teammate.
3) Lee, a swing-for-the-fences-no-matter-the-situation type of guy, doesn't fit into Ozzie Guillen's speedy, small-ball vision
4) Cap space.
It also has its bad points, such as...
1) Who the #$%@ is Scott Podsednik?
2) Why would you go out looking for Brewers?
3) Lee is transforming from a guy who puts up good numbers into a guy who puts up monster numbers.
4) Who the $%#@ is Scott Podsednik?
Well, worry not. I have just learned a little tidbit of info about Podsednik that makes me feel much better about his acquisition: He dates Lisa Dergan. I feel better already. The way I see it, any guy who can date Dergan is a guy I want in my locker room. Talk about street cred! Welcome to Chicago, Scott.
Speaking of locker rooms...