Tuesday, January 25, 2005

The Department Of Defense Has Quite The Imagination

If you believe something long and hard enough, at what point does it become true?

I only ask because the Department of Defense is offering some delusional, and at the same time quite humorous, anologies between the upcoming Iraqi elections and the birth of America.

My initial reaction to reading this was anger at how the bloody destruction of Iraq is being propped up and prettied as the glorious birth of democracy, when in fact, it's little more than...um...well...bloody destruction. However, I have to say I was laughing by the end of it. BushCo., and all its minions of spineless and clueless followers, really have a knack for twisting the truth, don't they?

Let's break this thing down one misconception at a time...

The Iraqi elections Jan. 30 "will not be perfect, will not be pretty," officials have said, and in that they will have a lot in common with the beginning of democracy in the United States.

They will? Really? I wasn't around in the 18th century (at least in this body), but wasn't the birth of democracy in America dreamt up by, fought for, and implemented by Americans, and solely Americans, who felt the need to, and decided to, fight for their own land, their own people, and their own government?

How exactly does this relate to Iraqis with guns pointed at them from one side being told that voting is great, and guns pointed at them from the other side being told to vote if they want to die?

How exactly are Iraqis determining their own fate?

In many ways, the Iraqis are duplicating the American experience. The Jan. 30 election will select 270 Iraqis to be members of a national assembly, which will choose a president and two deputy presidents. It will also name a prime minister and department ministers.

And these "elected" officials wouldn't happen to be those handpicked by the U.S., would they? Nah, it's not like that ever happens in small countries with something America wants.

For Iraq, the draft constitution will be presented to the people for a general referendum. That vote must be held no later than Oct. 15, 2005. The constitution will be approved if a majority of the voters of Iraq approve it and "if two-thirds of the voters in three or more governates do not reject it."

I don't want to be a nagging pessimist here, but among the Sunnis, Shiites, and Kurds, someone isn't going to be happy. I'm guessing none of them. And then they'll all start blowing each other up in good old-fashion and ever-dependable Middle Eastern style. And then American troops will leave. And then things will get bad. And nothing will be solved.

Care to wager on this?

Other similarities exist in that there was a rebellion in the United States and there is an insurgency in Iraq.

Applause. Props. Kudos. Now, this is humor taken to the next level. It really is. Is the Department of Defense actually comparing American rebels to Iraqi insurgents who are - hold on, don't laugh just yet - REBELLING AGAINST AMERICAN FORCES?

That's classic. Whoever wrote this just lauded the efforts of the insurgents in a roundabout way and placed the current America in the role of the British. Doesn't anybody check this stuff before it gets sent out? I haven't laughed this hard since Ashlee Simpson appeared on SNL.

The nations of the world predicted that the United States would never prosper and that democracy would never work.

Um, yeah, I guess this is why the biggest powers in Europe at the time were GOING TO WAR with each other over American land.

...the Iraqi national assembly, must by law, be one- third female.

I want to see how this goes over once American troops leave. I'm guessing it doesn't. Incidentally, how arrogant is it on our part to insist on such a provision when we don't have it ourselves? When you consider Muslims' views on women, right or wrong, this almost seems like a deliberate slap in the fact to their customs. It almost seems like one extra jab that American officials wanted to get in as they chuckled amongst themselves. I don't agree with the outdated views of women in the Middle East, but they are what they are. I don't see this lasting.

Iraq has a basis of experience from other countries to draw from; whereas, such U.S. choices were very limited back in the 1700s.

Yeah, because Iraqi leaders (and Middle Eastern leaders, in general) have a reputation for taking a wide-eyed look around the world and saying to themselves, "You know, I think things can be so much better for our people. Let's work on this."

Whatever government Iraq ends up with begins with the elections Jan. 30. While that will be a great day in the history of this ancient land, it is just one of many steps that must be taken.

Who's writing this, a third grader? "And in conclusion, this book taught me..."


Speaking of Iraqi elections, this article doesn't paint a very rosy picture, unless you consider being shot at for speaking of voting to be a rosy picture.


Apparently, this passes for humor at Republican parties:

Though there was no official poem for the occasion, impressionist Rich Little, emceeing the Constitution Ball at the Hilton Washington, did provide a bit of inaugural doggerel.

The gist of it was: "Let's get together, let bitterness pass, I'll hug your elephant, you kiss my ass!" And the crowd went crazy.

Little said he missed and adored the late President Ronald Reagan and "I wish he was here tonight, but as a matter of fact he is," and he proceeded to impersonate Reagan, saying, "You know, somebody asked me, 'Do you think the war on poverty is over?' I said, 'Yes, the poor lost.' " The crowd went wild.

This is beyond sick.

In another time and another place, palaces would be stormed and leaders taken into the streets and hanged by their feet.

This makes me glad that Little hasn't had a career in the last twenty years.

So BushCo. wants $80 billion more American tax dollars for its personal war in Iraq and Afghanistan? This is roughly twice as much as will be spent on American education this year.

Is this smart? Does it even have a point?

Ironically, this article just appeared today chronicling one Chicago teacher's frustrations with an underfunded and overcrowded school system and her ultimate decision to get out. Such a shame.

So, BushCo. has decided to spend lavishly for Iraqi children to be among the civilians killed and maimed, while our own American children are ignored and left to suffer?


Blogger WarriorFive said...

Sometimes Bush basher's (and I don't mean that in a bad way!)make it seem as if we don't have to drink the kool-aid..........We're drowning in it. It's bigger than us and so far removed from us and our abilities to do something about it. Civilizations and ideals have a life span, regardless of how perfect and flawless they originally seemed. Corporate corruption, political agenda's and Texas greed has soiled the fabric of which we were sewn from. I heard a term for people I've known about, but haven't been able to appropriatly label, and I think it's a huge contribution to the state of affairs we find our country, and ultimatley, the world in today.


You know them, the one's that tell you they can't go out for a drink after work because they are attending Bible study on a Wednesday evening. The one's that make sure they tell everyone within shouting distance at the office about their 'mission' to Portugal next month. Yet, that same person is the first to complain that someone has been showing up to work five minutes late for the last few days and has been taking long lunches......Fuck you, Crack-Pot! And no, it wasn't me that's been late. Bush is a Crack-Pot! He grew up as a President's son, and he had a 'divine intervention' at some point in his privledged life. He believes he is there by God's will and family right. Pair that up with a bunch of corporate sleezeballs that have found every loophole in every tax and financial law and exploited it so only them and their country club buddies can sqeeze their fat asses through.

The system is as mangled and hopeless as the prospects of a hotel in Fallugah. Even if JFK rose from the dead and came back for a 2nd term, he'd be powerless in steering the ship away from the corporation and white collar society we've become. So be angry about Bush's 'Holy' war, be bitter about the lies and arrogance, but most importantly........Start figuring out a way to tolerate the Kool aid.
You know what? Fuck the Crack-Pots, and Fuck me! Fight the Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:04 AM  
Blogger UnknownColumn said...

Yeah, crack pot Christians is right.

It's (not so) funny how they start wars and condemn certain walks of life (gays) and then walk around with a Bible in their hand. That's irony. They are the very definition of people who just don't get it.

And I'm not drinking any Kool Aid. Ever.

8:42 AM  
Blogger Julie in VT said...

I don't mind that you used an image I created (dep't of Pretense above), but I would appreciate it if you were to do a linkback to my own site (http://juliewaters.com/) if you're going to use it.


--Julie Waters

12:15 PM  

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