Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Dude, Would You Put A Needle In My Butt?

I'm going to come out and say it: Thank you, Jose Canseco. Thank you for being just crazy enough to be a whistle blower. Thank you for showing the world the truly ugly underbelly of steroid use in baseball.

And, man, is it ugly.

Yup, dudes putting syringes into other dudes’ butts. In closets. Let that image settle in.

Now can we test for steroids...I mean, really test?

With the details of Canseco's upcoming tell-all book slowly spewing forth, the general reaction has been that Canseco is an attention-seeking, money-hunting moron who shouldn't be taken seriously.

I disagree.

Canseco may not be the most wholesome character, and his past may not be pristine, but that doesn't prevent him from telling the truth. His eyes are as reliable as anyone else's. Personally, I believe him. Why should he lie? Well, the obvious answer would be book sales (i.e., money). But the truth, as they say, is stranger than fiction. Maybe Canseco is just smart enough to see how lucrative the truth can be.

Canseco is giving up any slim hope he held onto of making the Hall of Fame someday. It wasn't likely to happen, but his book will certainly cost him any votes he may have earned.

And if Canseco's allegations tear down several tightly drawn curtains, so be it, even if that means damaging the reputation of somebody as beloved as Mark McGuire.

Sometimes you have to blow something up before you can rebuild it, and Canseco may be the dynamite. If not all of it, then at least a stick.


Tear it all down.

Steroids in baseball are a joke. I'm sick of hearing about it. Everyone is sick of hearing about it. Everyone knows players do it. Everyone knows MLB executives are spineless and do very little about it. The recent upgrade in testing is a start, but it's a very weak policy. Very weak.

So if the people who run baseball don't have enough balls to fix the problem, then godspeed to a character like Canseco, dubious though he may be, for having the balls to kick open the door and watch the cockroaches quickly squirm out of the light and into the darkness.

Somebody has to do it. Sometimes the fool leads the way.

I've always had a problem with the highly glorified home run chase of 1998. People - executives, the media, fans - were so quick to jump all over that much-needed feel-good express after the strike of 1994 that they were willing to conveniently overlook the suspicion that McGuire and Sammy Sosa were juiced up.

And they were juiced up. Come on now. Do you really think otherwise?

I failed to see the beauty in the chase. I was just pissed off that poor Roger Maris, a guy who relied solely on cigarettes and beer, was being removed from the record books by juiced up muscleheads pulling one over on the American fan.

Look, professional players are getting sick. Teenage wanabees are dying. Records are being unfairly shattered.

So test. Test hard.

How many Ken Caminitis and Jose Cansecos of the world must be ignored and classified merely being "troublemakers" before the steroid situation is sufficiently snuffed out?

It's like the grandmas always say - the syringes will come out in the wash.



The Raptors' Rafer Alston beat up head coach Sam Mitchell last night. Unfortunately, the locker room was the venue. Doesn't he know he's supposed to do that stuff on the sidelines so the cameras can capture the mayhem and we can watch it roughly 16 hours a day on 76 channels?

The NBA is infected with thugs living the thug life.


In solid NBA news, the Bulls beat the Mavericks last night - in Dallas. Nice, nice win. Just when things were looking bleak - three straight losses to open a tough month - they again display the makings of a contender. If they win in Houston tonight, it might just be their most impressive win of the season. Back-to-back. In Texas. The middle of a road trip. Very few teams pull this trick off.

Luol Deng is going to be a superstar.

Retro uni sighting on the Mavs last night, '80s-style.


It's a good thing I'm liking the White Sox going into spring training this year so much.

Magglio Ordonez is officially gone. And to make matters worse, he'll face the Sox roughly 18 times a season as a member of the Tigers. Sure, it's only the Tigers, but still. And, actually, the Tigers don't look that bad this year. Allan Trammell is one of the good young managers. This could really blow up in GM Kenny Williams' face.

And to think, Maggs allegedly really wanted to stay in Chicago. That makes the breakup that much harder, and leaves Williams looking that much more Scrooge-like.

Still, as much as I hate to see Maggs officially in another uniform, this is offset by a strange fascination with these Sox...the new-look Sox. I don't know what it is. Just a feeling? Wishful thinking? Beans?

Whatever it is, I'm loving the new-look Sox. They have some new starters (Jose Contreras, Orlando Hernandez), a new center fielder in Scott Podsednek, who dates this chick, and a Japanese dude at second base. Tadihito Iguchi. If I haven't mentioned before how much I love Japanese ballplayers, I LOVE JAPANESE BALLPLAYERS!

But not like this. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Yes, Maggs is gone, and that sucks, but the fortunes of the White Sox are far from depleted. The Sox have plenty of mystery cases, which is always worrisome, but they still offer that hint of a contender, just as the Sox of Maggs and the also departed Carlos Lee and Jose Valentin always did, always to no avail. These Sox look as promising as any team in The AL Central, which doesn't look bad at all (except for the Royals, of course), and that's something to build on.

The Sox should be fun, at least. With or without Maggs.


Matzalan of Mexico won the Caribbean World Series recently. White sox farmhand Francisco Campos was the named the MVP.


Blogger Jackie Chiles said...

Orlando Hernandez? Jose Contreras? Good luck with that.

2:22 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home