Thursday, April 14, 2005

If Jesus Was Alive, Who Would He Revolt Against?

If what Mario Cuomo says is true, that God speaks to George Bush, then I'd like to know what message exactly is being passed. And if God isn't speaking to Bush, and Bush, like he says, is getting his inspiration from extensive study of the Bible, I want to know exactly what Bible he's reading.

Or if he can even read. Or comprehend what he's reading.

Because he sure missed some of the Bible's finer points.

For instance, I'm no holy rolling blowhard like so many Republican conservatives, but wasn't one of Jesus' main gripes the greediness of the rich? Isn't that why he stormd into the market and overturned tables and outed himself as a marked man?

Well, let me present some news to all those holy rolling blowhards hiding behind the warped Christian rhetoric they speak so carelessly, which only serves to highlight their hypocricy: If these were the biblical times, your boy Bush would be the leader of the assholes Jesus was revolting against.

Oh, yes, he most definitely would be.

Bush is not the good guy in this modern-day biblical-esque epic tale. Far from it. Bush is everthing Jesus despised and preached against, which makes the so-called religious fervor of Bush and his most ardent followers so puzzling and almost comical.

For instance, here are some interesting graphs demonstrating the widening gap between CEOs and the middle class. Notice how CEOs in oil and gas have been paid the most handsomely. Shocking, huh? (By the way, it's also interesting to note in the first graph that the ratio of CEO pay to average worker's pay exploded during the Bill Cinton years, so maybe Jesus can stick a hot poker up Clinton's ass as well.)

Then there is this, the argument over ending federal estate taxes. Admittedly, I can see the logic in eliminating a tax that might be perceived as attempting to "pry lots of cash out of the cold, dead fingers of America's deceased entrepreneurs."

However, considering BushCo's obvious attempts to pander to and fill the pockets of all its wealthy friends, I can't help the feeling this is just another attempt by BushCo to ultimately keep (i.e., horde) its money right where it wants it, meaning that if BushCo works so hard today to assure the wealthiness of its friends (which it has), it therefore doesn't want those friends being taxed later on down the line.

And that $290 billion that would be eliminated? That could certainly be used in areas that have been callously neglected as BushCo pours money into Iraq.

But, hey, why worry about a glaring lack of funds for such unimportant trivialities as education and health care when there are wealthy friends to further protect from taxation?

Talk about priorities being mixed up.

So next time the Christian blowhards feel like spouting off about how they're right and justified because they attend church each Sunday in expensive suits and fancy cars, maybe they should look at what biblical role their glorious leader is playing.

Because it isn't any of the good roles.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. If these were biblical times, Jesus would be right outside those market gates, watching, simmering, waiting...


Blogger Jackie Chiles said...

Just to be clear Unknown, Cuomo was clearly making fun of Bush. You been hanging out with AB or something?

11:16 AM  

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