Wednesday, July 06, 2005

God And Guns



Do you know what's really repulsive? Churches that use their religion to fight, if even usually, if lucky, only with words and a smug wave of the hand to hell for anyone else.

But this church takes the cake. Congratulations, New Borns of Rochester.

Everyone can now look at you and laugh the heartfelt laugh of knowing that no matter how dumb we fear we are, you, my friends, have us beat by a mile. You are a special kind of dumb.

When the whole world is over and framed and hung upon a wall, I hope a snapshot of these assclowns makes the short list. Title it "American Chuch, 2005". I thought it was bad when the holy rollers of the world lit crosses or played funny with boys or rioted outside elementary schools whilst bashing gays, but now we have descended to the nitty gritty. Now we have a clergy in fatigues and rosaries praying in troops with missles receiving communion and medals. Now we have a church that just don't give a fuck no more. They're pissed and they're ready to blow something up and god is on their side. Some politicians, too. Secretly.

In America.

Bush's America.

Today is Bush's birthday. I wonder if he's happy and carefree and lazy and lounges around like it's a special day in the special family? Does he sleep in? Does he take the day off? Maybe watch some poker on ESPN? Eat a big, warm dinner as ma is gloriously oblivious and undetectably sinister and her there with a proud smile on her face? Perhaps he get jolly birthday phone calls from Jenna and whatshername...the other one?

Or does Bush glumly look out the window while his right hand man Rove falls from grace and as bodies continue to pile up in a desert somewhere far, far away and he knows he left himself no good answers?

Never even asked the right questions.

Happy Birthday, dude. How does it feel to know you done fucked up?

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Speaking of dim news, what's up with the Cubs? Six losses in a row and Derrek Lee getting an MRI? What happened? Weren't the Cubs just hot and getting back Mark Prior and Kerry Wood?

Atlanta is leading the wildcard race. These are big games the Cubs are losing to the Braves. This doesn't look good after getting swept by a division leader, the Nationals, last week...in Wrigley.

This is how you check yourself out of a race.

**********

There is good news however. Beer can now reduce the effects of aging. At this rate, I might be an infant again before I'm an old man.

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Fank Thomas: 17 hits this season, 10 home runs.

OK, I'll play along and temporarily ignore his .231 batting average. But that's a fun HR stat. Besides, he's never batted anywhere near this low. He's still warming up after returning from his ankle injury.

And Tadahito Iguchi is still hitting shots to right with a runner on first.

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