Wednesday, August 17, 2005

It's Official



Cedric Benson is officially the last unsigned first round pick. The last man standing. So predictable. So, so predictable. The Bears being the Bears.

Congrats, Halas Hall. You have done it again. You have proven that, yes, you are willing to go all...the...way to be cheap and petty. Woohoooo, look at you go! Nothing and nobody is going to beat you at saving a few bucks. No, siree.

Pathetic.

What exactly are the McCaskeys doing? I mean, right NOW this instant! Devilishly, scheming ways to play hardball with the supposedly stud running back as Mike McCaskey rubs Mama McCaskey's shoulders, she smoking in front of the fireplace and both wearing intent, blank stares determined not to do too much in the way of wanting to win, and then the hot Polish maid comes in?

(OK, a hot polish maid has nothing to do with anything.)

Surely, Rashaan Salaam and Curtis Enis are somewhere laughing.

Then again, as much as the McCaskey's look like comically inept penny pinchers and as much as Jerry Angelo officially looks like Jack Lemmon in "Glengarry Glen Ross" (i.e., he's about to do something stupid), Benson isn't looking like a bed of roses, either. Does he want to play or what? Look, when Pac Man Jones is strolling into camp ahead of you, you got some issues. Even TO is supposedly back at Philly headquarters at the moment. Show up and run the ball. You'll get paid.

As far as holding out goes, Benson best run a bit like Gale Sayers if he wants to prove he's worth all this commotion. Nothing like holding out and being a bust.

Salaam and Enis just stopped laughing.

Bottom line: Angelo officially has an official debacle on his hands. Officially. He's in the rain on a payphone desperately calling...god knows who Angelo is calling or what he is thinking as his masterplan for the NFL's worst offense blows up in his face.

Hey, at least the defense must be pissed as hell at this point. Urlacher has been dubbed 'overrated' and now this? Shit. Lance Briggs wants the Pro Bowl this year. Tommie Harrs is Baby Sapp but without all the talk. Ron Rivera will blitz, blitz, blitz. Peanut is Peanut.

And that's that.

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