Thursday, September 08, 2005

Doing it for Bald, Old Guys Everywhere

The old man, Andre Agassi, is still alive and kicking at the U.S. Open, thanks to a classic five-set, comeback win over the inspiring upstart, James Blake.

This match, an instant classic, was just what the doctor ordered for American tennis fans, particularly casual fans, who haven't had nearly as much to cheer for of late as Agassi has fought off old age and injuries and Andy Roddick has not taken the next step to worthy champion.

My only question is this: Why was this match played so late? Christ, it ended at 1:15 in the morning local time in New York. What the #$%@ is that? I mean, the NFL can pull such a stunt because people are sheep when it comes to football and will stay up. But tennis? This is the height of absurdity. With Roddick being pretty much a big tease as the next "great American hope", and the greatness of Roger Federer largely unnoticed behind his quiet, unassuming demeanor, tennis hasn't really had many marquee moments of late. No real reason to get excited (other than Maria Sharapova's cleavage), at least to the casual fan. There have been few eagerly anticipated matchups and even fewer hardcore rivalries.

Then the Agassi-Blake matchup comes along - a clash between a beloved legend looking to go out on top and an inspiring underdog who was completely out of tennis last year - and the juices were flowing, possibly even for many a sportsfan not normally inclined to tune into tennis.

So what happens? The match is played in the wee hours of the morning alongside the friggin' unwatchable Carson Daly show. This is just stupid.

Put it in primtime, fer chrissakes! Who's running this ship?

The Unknown Column hopes you saw it, but he's guessing you missed it. Too bad.

Whatever. Anyway. Let's go, Andre. Oh, and he'll be facing another American, Robby Ginepri, in the semifinals.

The frighteningly dominant Federer still looms in the other half of the bracket. Here's hoping someone takes him out and makes the path a little easier to tread for Agassi and his walker. (Just kidding, Andre.)

Oh, and how ridiculously annoying are the gloriously dumb Roddick commercials? Goodgawd, someone is actually payed good money to think up and create this utter crap? Not funny, not memorable, not interesting. Just dumb. Make them stop. Please. Roddick must be so embarrrassed at this point.


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