Monday, September 05, 2005

Now this is...

...what the Unknown Column is talking about. Nothing like waltzing into Boston for the day, taking names and kicking ass.

Five in a row for the White Sox.



Brandon McCarthy was the story. The kid made his second straight solid start by pitching seven innings of shutout ball. McCarthyism is growing. I gotta say, as optimnistic as I try to be, I didn't see this performance coming. Not against MLB's highest-scoring team and in Fenway, where the Red Sox had won 21 of their last 23 games.

Juan Uribe went nutty at the plate, and Paul Konerko continue to be hot as well. Geoff Blum had a couple of hits, including a triple.

The only negatives were some silly baserunning mistakes by Uribe and Scott Podsednik. That and a ninth-inning error by Tadahito Iguchi that momentarily derailed what had been another solid job by another youngster, Bobby Jenks, who came in to close the ninth and was rolling. He had just struck out Manny Ramirez on three pitches to open, and was about to get out number two, when Iguchi's error ultimately helped lead to ex-White Sox Tony Graffanino hitting a three-run homer to kill the shutout.

Jenks made two bad pitches, but he still looked solid. You da man, Bobby Jenks!

And all is well that ends well.

I guess the one-day trip back to Boston wasn't so bad when you consider it gave the opportunity for us all to see Schilling lose on Labor Day in front of a national ESPN audience. That's priceless.

Yes, it was particularly pleasing to see Schilling fall further into disrepair. The Unknown Column is not a big fan. Schilling should go back to campaigning for Georgie Dumbfuck and spare us all his lame dye job. My guess is that he's struggling this year because the steroid pinch is on and he's off the juice. I'm not accusing, I'm just saying I wouldn't doubt it. Schilling is an arrogant shill. Didn't he sign with Arizona and move his family to the desert when his wife has some sort of skin disease caused by the sun? Whatever. Anyway. Schilling is a chump.

The Pale Hose will be back at the Cell tomorrow against Kansas City. Jose Lima is scheduled to start for the Royals. That's unsually interesting.

**********

There is a God.

Yes, and the Unknown Column is very, very pleased. Tell me it doesn't get better than this:

So I watch the Pale Hose put the finishing touches on Boston, and as I'm flipping channels, I accidentally stumble upon the Redskins-Ravens preseason game. I think this is odd. Why would the Redskins-Ravens preseason game from a few days ago be on now? So I push the info button and I notice the channel is listed as those three most beautiful of letters: N, F, and L. My body momentarily locked up with shock and the realization that true happiness may actually be a feasible concept and the room suddenly got dark except for a lone ray of light that came from the parting clouds and shone directly upon my TV. An organ blared one long note in the background. So I check the channel's upcoming schedule, and as I fall to my knees and begin doing the sign of the cross, sure enough, I discover it's nothing but NFL television. All day, all night. Always. NFL.

This channel was not there yesterday.

It just magically showed up magically. Like magic.

Yes, there is a god.

2 Comments:

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