Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Punching Back

If the White Sox are trying to take years off of the Unknown Column's life, they're doing a smash up job. Well done. Seriously. This is purely heart-wrenching stuff. High drama. It's like watching an elephant on thin ice. On roller skates. It could all go to hell at any moment. The first two games of this Sox-Indians clash have been nineteen innings of a pure, unadulterated, tooth and nail dogfight. It's great for entertainment purposes, but very poor for one's health. I'm estimating that each runner stranded by the Sox last night took off one year of my life apiece, those in scoring position took two, those left at third base were virtual heart attacks on the spot, and in the end, that was a maddeningly large number of runners. Maddening. I think I can probably forget about my entire retirement age. I mean, are the Sox trying to leave a runner at third base in every inning? Is that some sort of goal here or what?

But the Sox won.

They aren't going anywhere just yet.

Joe Crede played the role of hero and personally brought the Unknown Column to his knees in a moment perhaps only a death row inmate getting a last-minute reprieve could understand. Complete and uttter relief. Crede remains the guy who can never hit for average but somehow has a knack for late-game heroics and his walkoff home run last night in the tenth was exactly what Sox fans everywhere needed. Needed bad. In the worst possible way. It was the ultimate fix. Suddenly everthing seems OK again. Suddenly the Sox look less like choke artists and more like a team still landing punches.

Sure, the Sox are backed into the corner right now. Sure, they've taken some blows. Sure, the mouthpiece has been dislodged, the vision blurry, the knees weak and buckling, and the crowd is screaming for the bloody knockout. The death blow. Everyone knows that. Everyone has heard the phrase "collpase of historic proportions". Everyone is aware of all circumstance and repurcussions. But this is a fifteen-rounder, baby, and the Sox have a few punches yet to throw. They ain't going out like no chumps.

And you know what? Fuck the Indians. That's what I say. I'm bored of hearing of how hot they are. Yeah, they're hot. So what? Good for them. I think that's 11-of-15 games the Sox have taken from them now.

And the Sox need one more win tonight. No reason to let up now. Take the series. Beat the Indians and it will make beating up on the hated Twins over the weekend all the more sweet. Yup, beat the Indians one more time and it could be a beautiful weekend at the Cell with the magic number getting microscopic.

It could be.

Jon Garland is on the mound tonight and I like the chances.


Juan Uribe's gem of a defensive play at shortstop to rob Coco Crisp of a single to end the eighth inning and preserve a one-run lead could have been a season-saver. Amazing.


Travis Hafner? I really don't like the dude. He's absolutely killing Sox pitching. Killing it. I really, really want to see Garland send his ass back to the dugout looking bad. Let this happen, please.


OK, when A.J. Pierzynkski rounded third and stepped on Aaron Boone's back in the seventh inning, well, that was hysterical. However, depsite Pierzynski's reputation as being surly, nothing about the play looked cheap or dirty. It appeared that Boone simply dove in his path and Pierzynski had no other choice in his frantic effort to score. In fact, it wasn't until the ensuing commercial break was over and Hawk and D.J.pointed out Pierzynski's foot plant that it was even noticeable. At least to me anyway.

Whatever. Either way, it was hysterical.

Besides, this is a pennant race, baby! Get the #$%@ out of the dude's way.


You're still da man Bad Bobby Jenks.


Anonymous Bill Ligue said...

Right on.

Now let's go stomp on some defenseless geriatrics together!

11:19 AM  
Blogger UnknownColumn said...

Bill, I'm not really into stomping people, but if you have any of that homemade meth, that would be nice.

11:31 AM  
Blogger Jackie Chiles said...

"Jon Garland is on the mound tonight and I like the chances."

Tough loss, champ. I'm feeling for you, really. You guys lose this one and it will almost be as bad as the Yanks last year. Almost.

(Is the word code business to keep the dumbass spammers away?)

10:43 PM  
Blogger UnknownColumn said...

The White Sox are just making it interesting, Jackie. No worries.

In the AL East, is there any way both teams can collapse?

And yeah, hopefully the spammers stop.

6:03 AM  

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