Friday, September 09, 2005

Shock the World, Baby

Week One
Bears at Redskins
Noon, Sunday




I love it.

I love the Bears being huge underdogs. I love Bears fans grimacing. I love outsiders snickering. I love how nothing is expected. I love people laughing heartily at the idea of a fourth round draft pick starting at quarterback. I love people expecting injuries. I love people who say Cedric Benson isn't prepared or that he's a space cadet or another bust waiting to happen. I love when people say Brian Urlacher is overrated. I love opening up in the NFL's largest stadium - 90,000-plus. I love it all.

Yes, I love each and every dumb asshole (i.e., Jay Mariotti) who have nothing but bad things to say about the Bears. Nothing but bad things. Nothing.

Well...

Bring on the season, baby.

Bring on the Redskins, baby.

Let's just see how bad the Bears are going to be, shall we? Me? I don't think they'll be too shabby at all.

Not too shabby at all.

In fact, the Bears have all the makings of an absolutely fantastic story. The defense is going to be awesome. Awesome. The best since the legendary wrecking crew of the 1980s. The status of Benson and Kyle Orton as rookies will only serve to make their success all the more fun and enjoyable. In Benson and Thomas Jones, the running attack is loaded. The wide receivers are a collections of kids being mentored by Mushin Muhammad.

There is plenty of feel-good potential here. In fact, if Lovie Smith ever shows a hint of emotion, this season is going to be great.

There is nothing like the joy of a successful Bears season, especially when it's completely unexpected. Remember 2001?

This season could be just like 2001 all over again. Mark my words.

The NFC North is garbage. The Packers are crumbling and Mike Holmgren is about to be exposed for what he is: an incompetent coach who was lucky to take over a previously built and successful team. In Motown, Steve Mariucci is starting to get that perpetually confused and concerned look on his face and Joey Harrington is a pretty boy bust. In Minnesota, say what you will about Randy Moss, but you don't get rid of a playmaker like that and not expect some initial struggles.

In other words, the NFC north is more than manageable.

The schedule, on paper at least, is more than manageable, as well, with only one 2004 playoff team (the Vikings) among the first twelve games.

The pieces are falling into place and the stars are lining up. I feel the mojo rising.

My prediction? 11-5.

That's right, baby, 11 and friggin' 5!

Shock the world!

As for this week against the Redskins, the key will be hounding Patrick Ramsey into submission. I mean, who's Patrick Ramsey? Seriously? He's not going to beat anyone. Blitz, blitz, and blitz some more. Then blitz again. I want to see a FOX camera shot of Ramsey's helmet ominously rolling away from his limp, shocked body and him laying motionless on the grass as Redskins fans are hushed.

If Jones and Benson are pounding the ball successfully, which I suspect they will be, and Orton avoids killer mistakes, which I suspect he can, this is a winnable game. And this entire season won't be nearly as gloomy as all the predictably negative jackasses in this town are so quick to predict.

Fools.

The pick: Bears 17 Redskins 10

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