So I'm flipping radio stations yesterday and I stumble upon Mike North's show and he was playing a montage which combined several Kid Rock and Eminem songs. I guess it was in honor of the Super Bowl being in Detroit. Being a fan of both, I enjoyed it. However, while I realize North appears to think about little more than sports (which I can relate to and don't mean to criticze him for), and I'm not even going to mention Motown or the MC5 or even Bob Seger, but, for the love of all that is holy, someone please tell North that, even if he's only playing Detroit music from the past five years, the White Stripes are the best rock band going at the moment - period - let alone simply out of Detroit.
Also yesterday, I caught Screamin' A. on ESPN News. He was being interviewed by one of the lesser-known talking heads who aren't quite ready for the big time of the mother channel. A blonde dude. I don't know his name. Anyway, the dude starts asking Screamin' A. about Kobe Bryant's appearance on his show. He wanted to know what Bryant said. (Why? I have no idea. But whatever.) Screamin' A. starts being a dick, avoiding the questions, and, generally, being a smartass. At this point, the ESPN News dude is visibly upset, which was understandable considering he's on live national television and he can't get an answer. Screamin' A. started saying something about how if you wanted to know what Bryant said then you'd have to watch his show.
Now, my question is this: Screamin' A does realize that ESPN is giving him a paycheck, right? He does realize that ESPN and ESPN News all fall under the same umbrella, correct? And most importantly, does he realize that nobody watches his show? Maybe someone should pass along the ratings and keep him abreast of the situation.
Answer the damn question.
Today, perpetual wet noodle at the Tribune, Rick Morrissey, wonders if Chicago can ever become a White Sox town
Ah, where to begin. First of all, let me just say, well, how should I say this? Oh, WHO FUCKIN' CARES?
Some people like the Sox, some the Cubs. There is no such thing as Chicago being this town or that. It is what it is. Do the Cubs have more fans? Probably.
But again, SO FUCKIN' WHAT?
Let me just break down ths drivel in parts...A fan asked me at SoxFest whether Chicago is becoming a White Sox town. I asked him how much longer the morphine drip would be attached to his arm.
Oh, good one. Get it? Because the idea that the World Series winners might continue to capture the imagination of Chicagoans is so utterly preposterous that anyone who dares think it must surely have intravenous drugs coursing through their veins. I'm laughing already. (Not really.)This is a conservative guess, but I'd say that for every Sox fan in town there are three Cubs fans, and that the ratio is much, much higher outside the greater Chicago metropolitan area. Doesn't mean Cubs fans are better fans, just that there are more of them.
Well, I don't want to get into the semantics of numbers, so I won't argue this. All I ask is that Morrissey end his whining here. I mean, there are few things more pathetic than a Cubs fan who attempts to diminish the Sox title by playing the "Yeah, but the Cubs have more fans" game.
Damn, he keeps going...
So that's a lot of ground to make up for the Sox, and if you were to pin me to the wall, I'd say that Chicago won't turn into a Sox town in my lifetime. Then again, if I continue to insult the Sox and Kaplan, my lifetime will last only another week, tops.
Ah, yes, there it is. The insinuation that Sox fans are a bunch of South Side thugs prone to agression and violence. You see, it's at this point that Morrissey crosses the line from being a dude who might just be writing a column his editors asked him to write, to being douchebag.
According to reports, the ticker-tape parade celebrating the Sox's World Series title attracted 1.75 million people. The crowd contained Sox and Cubs fans alike, most of them united in their embrace of a champion.
If the Cubs were to win a title, it would make the Sox's parade look like the Oak Lawn 4th of July parade. But that's like saying, "If Charlie Brown were to kick the football …"
Gee, Rick, you just had to get a dig in, didn't you? That whole Sox parade thing is killing you, isn't it? Nevermind that the Sox parade attendance dwarfed that of the Bears Super Bowl parade - in an undeniably Bears town
. No, you assure us that a Cubs parade would make that of the Sox look like chump change. You're all class, Rick, all class. This is a Cubs town and will be as long as people keep shelling out money to watch the world's longest running sob story. Disappointment has been handed down from generation to generation, so much so that feeling disappointment is as natural as having two arms and two legs.
Chicago will not turn into a Sox town any time soon, if ever.
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!It's not their town yet, but they're working on it, one headline at a time.
So, after all the drivel, Morrissey's giant conclusion is that if the Sox keep winning, they'll attract more fans.
Wow. Bravo. I tip my hat. That's genius. Sheer genius. Morrissey must stay up all night thinking this stuff up.
You know, I think I liked Morrissey better last week when he was poo-pooing the NFL playoffs and labeling them as boring. Jeez, get this guy a stiff drink already. I wonder if the dude reads Sylvia Plath and contemplates sticking his head in the oven.