Sunday, March 05, 2006

Just Win, For Fucksake

Can the Bulls just beat the Cavs tonight, for fucksake, and stop driving the Unknown Column insane? Please? What is transpiring at the moment isn't working for me any longer.

There's nothing worse than losing games you could have won, which the Bulls are wont to do. A lot.

It seems every week or two I come in here and yap about how the Bulls are about to turn the corner and things are looking up and here we go now, here we go now. And then they go and drop a couple of games and continue to hang just out of reach of that final playoff spot opposite the Pistons.

And I don't want to hear the theory that it would somehow be better to miss the playoffs and have an extra pick in the lottery. That's garbage. I don't care how likely it is that the Bulls would only be swept in the first round by Detroit anyway. Michael Jordan's Bulls got swept more than once when they were beginning their run. Losing in the playoffs isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially when you have nothing to lose.

Hell, I want the Pistons in the first round. They're ripe for the picking. Overrated.

Anyway, the Bulls lost to Cleveland the other night on a last-second shot - by Flip fuckin' Murray, no less. Listen, if I have one cardinal rule it's never, ever, never get beaten by a dude named Flip.

The two teams meet again tonight. It's about time the Bulls put together a lengthy period of good basketball. This up-and-down business is getting old. Just win, for fucksake.

Here we go now.

I'll tell you what, if you don't like Duke, which is highly possible, then last night was a little bit of Heaven.

We all saw Duke embarrass itself from every conceivable angle as ESPN aired the loss to North Carolina on three channels from varying vantage points and officially became a parody of a parody of itself. All ESPN needs to do now is add a channel of nothing but Stu Scott reciting awful poetry, 24-7, and it will be deep in its Howard Hughes-collecting-his-urine-in-bottles phase.

OK, I shouldn't complain. Seeing a basketball game from every conceivable angle is, on paper at least, a fantastic idea. I mean, watching the Duke students - all in blue body paint, costumes and varying stages of madness - transform from boisterous, loveable fans to being downright disturbing and pathetic is always a joy.

Much joy was to be had as Tyler Hansbrough toyed with the Duke big men, JJ Redick choked (it is March, you know, don't be surprised) and Coach K had that constipated look he gets when he conceals his inner voice that wants to riot at the thought of refs actually having the gall not to turn a game in his favor on the very court named after him. On senior night. The nerve!

Oh, joy. I should have taped it.

I hope American Express was filming.

In all seriousness, Duke is not that great. They're going to beaten sooner than later. Redick is slowly hitting his March choke rhythm, and other than Shelden Williams, there really is nobody on the Blue Devils who is all that imposing. Melchionni? McRoberts? Anyone?


As for Roy Williams, he's doing a great job this season, just as he does every season. No doubt. But can we stop slobbering all over him and nominating him for national Coach of the Year at every opportunity? (I'm looking at you, Vitale.)

Listen, it's not like the Heels' returning players sat last year because they were chumps. They sat because almost an entire lineup of NBA talent was ahead of them. That doesn't make them chumps. You don't go to North Carolina to play basketball if you're a chump. Meanwhile, the Heels' freshmen class was the most celebrated in the nation coming in. Them and Kansas' crop. It's not like the Heels don't have talent to rival almost any program in the nation. Nothing against Williams nor the praise he righfully deserves, but please, North Carolina contending in the ACC is not something to be shocked about. Ever. Unless, of course, Matt Daugherty is the coach.


Blogger Bill-DC said...

I said the same thing today watching Maryland vs Virginia today. At one point the Terps were up 18. As I type this out in frustration, Virginia is up 4 with 2:00 left. Epic collapse by the NIT bound Terps.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Bill-DC said...

71-70 Maryland. I kept screaming at the TV just win for f*** sakes.
It worked now. Maybe I can use this chant next week during the ACC tournament.

2:50 PM  
Blogger UnknownColumn said...

Yeah, the Terps must be frustrating to watch considering they're only four years removed from a national title and now might settle for the NIT again. What happened?

So they're 18-11 and 8-8 in the ACC? They probably need two wins in the ACC tourney to get an NCAA spot.

They also need to unearth the next Juan Dixon.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Bill-DC said...

They had a decent class after Dixon, Baxter, etc and they won the 2004 ACC Tourney, which was a big deal as their last tourney win was in '84.

John Gilchrist started to believe the NBA hype and alienated himself with the rest of the team last year. Gary basically told him to scram and he went undrafted and is in Israel now.

This year starting guard and captain Chris McCray decided he didn't need class after all and stopped going. Result: He was placed on academic probation and his career at Maryland was over.

Bottom line is there isn't enough depth now. I'll credit Gary for squeezing 8-8 out of this squad, which could have packed it all in after McCray was kicked off the team.

I agree. Two wins gets them in. Sorry for the ramble, it's just been a very frustrating team to follow these past two years and I like blowing off steam here.

5:16 PM  

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