Thursday, March 30, 2006

Kyle Orton - Coolest Bear Ever?

For a guy who moved the offense last year about as well I could have, Kyle Orton is coming surprisingly close to being my favorite Bear ever. Seriously. I mean, Orton is already approaching legendary levels here in Chitown. No matter how his career pans out, Bears fans are never going to forget this guy. Ever.

Yes, Orton is drinking again and, yes, the cameras are finding him...

Shirtless. I love it. Why remain fully attired when past photographs of yourself have drawn criticism for the booze stains sullying your shirt? To hell with the shirt! And for that matter, to hell with a glass! Why waste time pouring a drink when you can just sip right from the bottle? There is so much booze to be downed, so let's not fuck around with unecessary shit like finding a glass.

Incidentally, does the other guy in the above photo have a concerned look on his face? It's almost like he's contemplating talking to Orton about maybe drying out for a spell.

First of all, check the time and date on this one. Eleven o' the morning. And March 1 was a Wednesday. I checked. Hysterical.

Limos + bimbos + booze = the life I should be leading. I'm jealous.

If this whole NFL quarterback thing doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure Orton has a career waiting for him as a rock star. Hell, he doesn't even need to play an instrument. He can pull a Sid Vicious and just get smashed and make people laugh. He's a natural.

I cannot wait until Orton and Brian Griese hit the town together. That's going to be a special kind of funny.

(Hat tip, Deadspin.)

For the record, here's some past classic Orton...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kyle Orton is Phil Elliott before the injuries and bitterness set in.

2:22 PM  
Anonymous priest, they called me said...

Kyle Orton appears to have the kind of drinking problem a soccer hooligan from south london I once worked with described he suffered from: two good hands, but only one mouth...

7:49 AM  
Blogger UnknownColumn said...

Nice. I'll have to remember that. Two good hands, but only one mouth.

By the way, who is Phil Elliott?

9:04 AM  

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