Friday, March 17, 2006

Madness, Part V

Dudes are hitting last-second fallway jumpers from deep in the corner like layups. They're dropping from Heaven.

Yesterday it was Tennessee's Chris Lofton tearing the heart out of Winthrop. Today it was some dude on Northwestern State who killed Iowa with an improbable trey with :0.5 left. Crazy ridiculous.

Greg Brunner has no hair left. It's all gone. And the tourney's best afro, belonging to (I think) the Demons' Alfonse Dyer, lives to see another day. (I think his name is Dyer. As you can see, I'm not overly familiar with the Northwestern State roster.)

So Mike Davis and Indiana are moving on and Steve Alford is going home. Interesting. Maybe Alford will allow Indiana to look at other candidates now. But probably not.

With all due respect to Northwestern St., things are breaking nicely for Southern Illinoi if it can upset West Virginia.

Any skeptic that proclaimed Ohio St. too reliant on the three-point shot must be feeling prophetic right now. The Buckeyes struggled from long distance for much of the game and couldn't shake Davidson.

The Buckeyes also had trouble stopping Ian Johnson, a lefty with a lumberjack beard. Dude was solid, and there just isn't nearly enough lefthanders with beards in the game anymore.

Miles Simon is an assistant coach for Arizona? Who knew? I was wondering what became of him. I thought perhaps he was Mike Bibby's personal assistant.

Upon a sighting of Simon on the bench, Jim Nantz complimented Billy Packer on his legendary "Simon says championship" line after the Wildcats beat Kentucky in the 1997 title game. Because, you know, that was sheer genius on Packer's part. A true poet, that Packer.

Packer and Nantz suck.

Whoever was calling the Wisconsin-Arizona yawner managed to mention last year's Illinois-Arizona Elite Eight game when Illinois came back from 15 points down with three minutes to play. That was awesome.

Wisconsin sucked. The game was over about five minutes in. The Badgers never recovered after their infamous loss to North Dakota St. in January.

Big Ten commissioner Bill Delaney must have felt the beginnings of a coronary today. At one point, SIMULTANEOUSLY, Ohio St. trailed Davidson at the half, Arizona was up 17 on Wisconsin, and Northwestern St. was on a 14-0 run against Iowa. The RPI computer, which tabbed the Big Ten as the best conference all season, was near to exploding, which may not have been a bad thing.

See, now this is more like it. The court in Auburn Hills is painted black. All black. The free throw lane. The three-point area. Everything. There's none of that purple and teal garbage that they prefer in ACC country, which I think may have forced me to start menstruating yesterday.

Bucknell advances and anyone hoping for Memphis-Arkansas track meet is out of luck.


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