Friday, March 17, 2006

Madness, Part VI

Fuck it. I'm just going to live blog the Southern Illinois game. It's 2:18 p.m. on St. Patrick's Day. I hope you're drunk by now or at least getting there.

2:21 - West Virginia up on the Salukis 7-6.

2:23 - Allan Ray is playing for Villanova, and if you're at work, you're not going to believe this. His eyeball was poked out and is just hanging there on a string. This is unbelievable. Blood all over the court. Ray is screaming in agony. Holy cow!

Just kidding.

2:24 - Memphis up 9-4 on Oral Roberts. I can honestly say that this is the first year I've heard of a 16 seed becoming a "trendy" pick. This does not bode well for Oral Roberts.

2:25 - West Virginia's German import, Joe Herber, pronounces his name "air-bare" rather that rhyming with Gerber. Why do Germans have to be different?

2:27 - Salukis down 15-8. Chris Lowery calls a timeout. Let's go now.

2:28 - Randal Falker picks up his second foul. 13:08 left in first half. This is not good.

2:29 - Northern Iowa up 30-26 on Georgetown at the half. Where you at, Packer? Where you at?

2:38 - There is an obese cop sitting right behind the Salukis bench. Hysterical. He looks like he might fall asleep.

2:40 - I'm ordering West Virginia to stop hitting three-pointers. Right now.

2:42 - Applebee's commercials are making me hungry for shrimp. Not from Applebee's, of course.

2:43 - West Virginia has twelve free throw attempts thus far, the Salukis zero. This is some bullshit.

2:45 - 28-17 WVU. The lead has reached double digits. I am not happy.

2:48 - The first mention of Pittsnogle's baby. You knew it was coming. Bill Raftery: "It's feeding time for the Pittsnogles!" I wonder if announcers think about this stuff beforehand.

WVU keeps nailing threes. Fuck.

2:51 - Johnny Cash heard during commercials. If the Salukis don't wake up, I'm going to be needing some of those pills Cash was so fond of.

2:53 - The first sighting of Mrs. Pittsnogle and Baby Pittsnogle in the stands. This is going to get maddening. Hoepfully, we don't approach Branda Warner-like levels of annoyance.

2:54 - Oral Roberts up 33-30 on Memphis. John Calipari is frantically doing something illegal at this very moment.

2:59 - Halftime. 36-24 WVU. I want shrimp.

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