Friday, April 21, 2006

Duke Sucks


As if the Unknown Column needed another reason to hate Duke...

"Historically, lacrosse has been one of our three or four best-selling sports," said Tom Craig, general manager of retail stores at the Durham, N.C., school. "But over the last month, sales have increased to three or four times our normal rate."

...

But crisis management executive Mike Paul said he believes there's an equal chance that the school will continue to allow the sale of lacrosse merchandise as that it will cut off sales. Craig said bookstores at Duke are institutionally owned and operated.

"The dilemma here hinges on the fact that there is still a very good women's team playing," said Paul, president of MGP & Associates PR.


Yeah, I'm sure the surge in sales has a lot to do with a sudden interest in the women's team. What a bunch of tools. Who thinks, "Hey, the Duke lacrosse team has more than forty arrests since 1999, including for gay bashing and rape... I WANT A T-SHIRT!"? I'm thinking it must be rich, elitist fucks who either think it's funny or want to show solidarity with the stuffy institution, particularly against the poor, worthless, common folk of surrounding Durham. They'll wear the shirts proudly when the two accused get off, I'm sure.

I think the only fair option here would be to immediately fire Coach K and suspend the basketball team for at least two years.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Given your blog, thought you might like to know about "Cappin' the Week" Chicago's own pop culture/current events comedy show. There’s some Web humor, here: http://www.cicomedy.com/CTWPageOne.html , or you can catch the show live this Friday, April 28th, at 11pm. It's at 4210 N. Lincoln Ave, The Cornservatory.

Get two bucks off here: http://www.cicomedy.com/Metromix

8:52 AM  

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