Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Gatorade Conspiracy


I'm shocked. Shocked! What do you make of this? This can't be, can it? I mean, Keith Jackson narrates the commercials and he has the manliest voice, like, EVER!

The bottle that contains the most popular sports drink on the planet looks like a big, thick, throbbing penis, from the clearly defined and strangely textured head to the perfectly tapered shaft. The only thing missing are a few well-placed veins. Of course, the Gatorade apologists could argue that the male penis comes in an endless variety of shapes and sizes, many of which are strange and asymmetrical. The Gatorade bottles, on the other hand, have standard sizes and are all perfectly proportional. To which I say: whatever.


Do they still make the Gatorade powder mix?

3 Comments:

Blogger Big Al said...

the powder mix so kicks regular gatorades ass.

11:47 AM  
Blogger White Silk said...

.....and probably isn't in the shape of a cock, to boot!

3:41 PM  
Blogger UnknownColumn said...

I saw a Gatorade commercial yesterday and, well, I'll never look at a Gatorade commercial the same again.

6:25 AM  

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