Thursday, April 20, 2006

It's Only Hair

Apparently, "Hairgate" is over and the White Sox can go back to concentrating on things other than split ends and suitable conditioners, although, judging by the nine wins in the last ten games, they haven't been much affected. AJ Pierzynski and Joe Crede were on the Mike North radio show today to get trims, and although I didn't catch it, I'm glad we can put this behind us because...

A) All of this talk of hair length is ridiculous.


B) As ridiculous as it is, I'm one of those fans just crazy enough to worry about such lunacy. I realize that hair has nothing to do with hitting, fielding, or anything else really other than impressing chicks (which I guess is everything, actually, but pro ball players don't need any help in that regard), but I am superstitious, among my many slightly insane quirks, and the idea of Jerry Reinsdorf instigating this minor controversy was making me a bit uneasy in a "I really don't want to worry about THIS of all things" sort of way. Why rock the boat? If the Sox are winning, then let the players dye their hair pink and wear it in pigtails if that's their thing. But please, stop making me worry that this hair debacle will somehow affect all the good vibes at the moment. (Now excuse me for a few moments while I wash my hands exactly 18 times and check my messages from Planet Xebar 451ZS.)

(View pics of the radio haircuts here.)

I guess the best thing to come out of this ordeal is the characteristically smooth manner in which the players handled it.

On Thursday, Crede and Pierzynski will get their haircuts during a radio appearance and the leavings will be offered for auction on eBay (a suggestion made in jest Monday by Guillen), with the proceeds going to charity. On Friday, a chain of salons affiliated with the Sox will send several stylists to the ballpark so that fans can "show solidarity with the players" by paying for a trim — again, any funds generated will go to charity.

It's just like these Sox to shrug, smile, do what has to be done to keep the ship sailing smoothly, and get back to the business of winning. And if some charity work can be done in the process, all the better. Nice.

Now, finally, we can get back to baseball, pure and simple...

- Scotty Pods is as scorching hot right now as he was cold earlier. Lisa Dergan must have given him some, um, therapy.
- The just completed third trip through the starting rotation was sick...just sick. Filthy. Javier Vasquez flirted with perfection yesterday and John Garland had his first solid start the day before.
- Jim Thome has scored in all 15 games thus far.
- Juan Uribe has nowehere to go but up at the plate and has quietly hit in three-straight games.
- Brian Anderson is about to heat up. I can feel it.

Now, if you will allow me one last question on the hair thing, what will Reinsdorf think of Adam Morrison should the Bulls draft him? Morrison's shaggy do and porn mustache might just give Reinsdorf a heart attack.


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