Anatomy of a Brawl
A.J. Pierzynski plays some good ole fashioned baseball by taking out the catcher in a play at the plate. Nothing wrong with that. Right, Michael Barrett?
Barrett wonders what hit him.
Pierzynski tags the plate, making sure to be just emphatic enough to make it easy on the ump. That Pierzynski, always thinking of others.
Pierzynski, being the perfect gentleman that he's famous for being, tries to innocently head to the dugout, but Barrett stops him. Hmmm...
Barrett thinks he's tough now. Pierzynski replies with, "What's that you say, dear fellow?" Pierzynski, always the model of charm. Always.
Oops. Barrett proves to be a giant douchebag and hits Pierzynski with a cheap shot straight to the grill. It should be pointed out that Pierzynski was hardly phased.
Scott Podsednik steps in and takes Barrett down. Pierzynski tries not to laugh. The expressions in the crowd: priceless.
Barrett's embarrassment continues: Podsednik easily takes him out and holds him down, barely breaking a sweat in the process. You gotta love Scotty Pods. He jumps right in the middle of a mellee, takes a dude out, breaks up a fight, and then manages not to get booted from the game. That's smooth. No wonder he's married to Lisa Dergan. Meanwhile, Joey Cora and Dusty Baker get in the middle of things, prompting Cubs fans everywhere to yell, "Look, Dusty is alive! He's alive!"
Behold the exact moment the Crosstown Classic rivalry reached new levels. There's no going back after this.
The funniest aspect of the whole melee has to be the involvement of one Brian Anderson, who hit the sacrifice fly that ignited the whole debacle. Now, the rookie hasn't been able to hit...at all. He's been struggling mightily. But that didn't stop him from throwing a straight-up haymaker at John Mabry. If you see the highlights, you'll see a slow-motion replay of the entire thing. Anderson, caught red-handed. Hysterical. The poor kid has been having it rough and now there's undeniable evidence of his misgivings heading straight to the Commissioner's Office. That just makes me laugh. I guess Anderson figured if he can't help much at the plate yet, he might as well brawl for the good of the team when necessary.
Hell, yeah, A.J. Hell, yeah. Pierzynski's riotous return to the dugout was truly inspiring.
Pierzynksi and Anderson, triumphant.
Barrett is left to ponder what a vagina he is.
The final word: Two batters after the brawl, Tadahito Iguchi laughs last and laughs loudest by belting a grand slam. He would later add a two-run homer. The Gooch.
Meanwhile, Freddy Garcia pitched a gem. If he keeps it up, the Cy Young talk won't be far behind.
Pale Hose win. 7-0. They go for the sweep on Sunday. Oh, and Jose Contreras returns to the mound tomorrow.
Good times, good times.