Tuesday, June 13, 2006

France 0 Switzerland 0



Um, does France just suck? I mean, is that what's going on here?

I only ask because I have the Frenchies reaching the final and from what I saw today, not only is that not happening, they might not beat Togo. Hell, they might repeat their scoreless, three-games-and-out performance of four years ago. 0-0? Bah. I was hoping not to see any of these scoreless crapfests and thus far we had been lucky. (The scoreless Sweden-T&T game was full af drama so it doesn't count.) But apparently, France these days is to scoring goals what Ben Roetlisberger is to wearing a helmet. It isn't happening. And ultimately, it's all going to end badly in a horrible thud.

So what is France's deal? I guess you could argue that they're just too old, and considering the likes of Zinedine Zidane, Lilian Thuram, and Fabien Barthez were on the field eight long years ago when France won it all, that would be a logical conclusion. But Zidane didn't seem to be the problem. He wasn't the magician he was in his prime, but he seemed more than capable of turning the game on its head with one of his patented how'd-he-see-that passes, and on a few occasions he did, but to no avail.

No, the weirdest aspect of the entire game was how completely out of it Thierry Henry was. It was like he was moving in slow motion. I swear to you I actually asked myself if he was trying. And myself answered that he didn't think so. It seemed Henry wasn't trying. He was lifeless and seemingly disinterested. I was expecting so much more from the dude supposedly second only to Ronaldinho in the argument for best player on the planet currently. Maybe he needs an Arsenal jersey to feel inspired.

Scariest of all for the Les Bleus was the fact that Switzerland easily could have scored and bagged all three points. Easily. While far from controlling the match, the Swiss hit the post once and on at least two other occasions missed opportunities that could only leave you shaking your head. Chances that should have been finished. The French were inches away from repeating their disastrous opener against Senegal in 2002. It was that close.

As it stands, this stinker wasn't much better. To be fair, these two teams met in group play at EURO 2004 and twice in qualifying, so the Swiss know the French as well as anyone, but there really is no excuse for how awful France looked today. And now the bastards seem intent on making my predictions look equally awful.

I can only hold off on the French jokes so much longer. They're driving me to it.

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