Friday, June 23, 2006

Ozzie Fined, About To Get All Sensitive And Stuff


Hey, did you happen to catch the White Sox' 1-0 win over the Cards last night? Good stuff. Ths Sox were one-hit by Anthony Reyes, but Jim Thome's homer was enough offense as Freddy Garcia pitched an absolute gem and Bobby Jenks pitched a cooly dominant ninth, including getting the just returned Albert Pujols to ground out on the first pitch. Goof stuff. Did you catch it?

I ask because the Sox current seven-game winning streak is, unfortunately, being drowned out by Jay Mariotti's drama queen antics, and the politically correct world more than eager to engage in his silly dance.

Ozzie called Mariotti a fag and suddenly the sun was extinguished, and the earth shifted on its axis and was sent into an eternal night that will only result in the slow, fozen death of mankind.

Or not.

As I've mentioned, Ozzie's use of the word has been blown out of proportion. Undoubtedly, he intended to label Mariotti in a fashion that befits the undeniable dipshit that Mariotti is but, unfortunately, used a word that also encompasses a description of gays. Do you really think Ozzie was thinking of a couple of dudes fucking when he labeled Mariotti a fag? Do you really think Ozzie has a problem with the gay community? Honestly?

Or do you just think Ozzie got angry - and rightfully so with regards to douchebag Mariotti - and used a poor choice of language?

I'm guessing the latter. (Then again, Mariotti does wax his eyebrows and spends his life acting like spurned woman, so you never know.)

Of course, I'm not condoning Ozzie's use of the word - not at all - and I wish he would learn to control his angry impulses and thus avoid trouble (and am confident he will), but I seriously doubt he meant any ill intent by using the word. So, please, let's stop acting like he planted a "God hates fags" sign on the front lawn of a gay household. A little perspective, please.

I find it funny that Ozzie has been fined an undisclosed amount and ordered to attend sensitivity training. What a slap in the face to Mariotti, who paraded himself around like a teenage cheerleader badmouthing a dude who dumped her, calling for a two-week suspension. Too bad, Mariotti, you tool. Even funnier, I'm not exactly sure what "sensitivity training" entails, but I'm guessing it requires Ozzie laughing at the ordeal for a few hours with a counselor who couldn't care less other than getting a few baseballs signed for his kids. Laughable.

In today's Tribune, Rick Morrissey, much to my joy, calls out Mariotti for being a limp noodle who rips people in his columns but fails to maintain a level of professionalism that journalists should hold dear, such as, you know, actually entering a clubhouse from time to time and having the balls to meet face to face the people you make a living off of by ripping.

Guillen considers Mariotti a coward for not backing up his often-angry columns with even an occasional appearance in the Sox's clubhouse. Mariotti doesn't believe it's his duty as a columnist to meet and greet the people he has ripped.

Now I'm as likely to win a Pulitzer Prize as Guillen is of becoming the honorary chairman of the Gay Games in Chicago, but I do know one thing:

If you're a sports columnist, you show up in the clubhouse to face the music. It's a matter of fairness.


Morrissey goes on to call Mariotti the first blogger because, like bloggers, he expresses his opinion, no matter how ugly or negative, without ever going out to face the music.

I'll give Mariotti this: Whether he realizes it or not, he might have been the nation's first blogger, without actually writing one.

He has led the way by not leading the way to the locker room or the clubhouse. He writes what he wants without ever talking to a soul.


Personally, I would be less inclined to describe Mariotti as the first blogger than as simply a creepy asshole with low self esteem who fill the holes of his soul by belittling others, but hey, I can run with the analogy.

You know, in one of the quotes I read from Ozzie on Mariotti, he said something about how nobody likes Mariotti, and my immediate reaction was, "Hey! How freakin' long have I been saying the same exact thing in my blog?"

It's so, so true. Very few people in Chitown, or nationally, like the guy, nor even respect him much. Ask around. I've done so and the vast majority of sports fans respond with something like "Fuck that guy" or "Yeah, he sucks" or "Have you noticed he waxes his unibrow?" The rest are generally ambivalent and don't even read him. I'm sure he a small, small, small pocket of fans, but they probably don't genuinely like him. They're probably just Cubs fans who appreciate his hatred of all things White Sox.

So, yet again, I ask: Why does the Sun-Times employ the asshole? I demand an answer. I find it sad that Mariotti is in a position to engage with the readers of a sports town famous for its love and devotion. He could have so much fun in the position he's in. He could be a guy who could walk the streets and Chitown's sports fans, which is pretty much everyone, would shake his hand and ask, "How do the (insert Chicago team) look?" He could be a beloved, likable figure in a city that puts its sports world figures on a pedestal if given good reason to.

Instead Mariotti wastes his life hating himself and making others hate him back.

What a sad little man.

What an asshole.

Kick him back to wherever he comes from. (Pittsburgh. Damn you, Steel City!)

Dude sucks.

Sucks.

Lastly, I just want to give some more quick props to Freddy Garcia for his gem yesterday. It's sad that it's been overlooked. It shouldn't be. Well done, Freddy, well done.

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