Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Surprise, Surprise: More Italians Cheating


The list of Italian soccer clubs who blatantly cheat continues to grow. In other news, feelings in the Mideast are uneasy.

Reggina is the latest Seria A club to face the music for pulling the shady, underhanded garbage so typical of Italian soccer. They join Juventas, AC Milan, and Lazio among those dumb enough to get caught, as we all know that all Italians club do it but some are at least clever enough to avoid the fuzz. Of course, the original three clubs have already appealed their hefty punishments down to less severe levels, which is just wrong. If anything, the penalties weren't stiff enough. And, of course, they continue to appeal, which means that eventually it will reach the point where a bunch of old, fat, crooked Italian guys representing each of the accused clubs will be sitting around with the prosecutors one day and they'll all look at each other suddenly, and after a moment of silence, break out into laughter, begin patting each other on the back and joyously gloating, "Ah, who are we kidding? We're all Italian, right? We all cheat, right? Let's forget the whole thing and get out of here, eh?"

And all charges and punishments will be dropped.

And each man will immediately head to his car, pull out his cell phone, and begin dialing referees to fix upcoming matches.

The saddest part is that Reggina was still only able to finish in 15th place despite breaking the rules. Dumbasses.

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