Friday, September 29, 2006

A Pig's Pigskin Picks



Week Four

Seahawks at Bears: It doesn't get much better than this. A nationally televised Sunday night game pitting the potentially two best teams in the NFC? Rock on. This is yet another big test for Rex Grossman, who last week showed that he can a.) win on the road, b.) come up with a big play late in a game, and c.) overcome a huge mistake. And, man, that interception he tossed up early in the fourth quarter last week was a mistake. For the sake of my healthy, let's hope Grossman never does that again. Ever. Lesson learned, OK?

The Bears would seem to have an advantage with Shaun Alexander out, but that passing game of the Seahawks is downright scary, and if the Bears vaunted defense has a weak spot, it's defending the pass. Just ask Steve Smith and Carolina, or Jon Kitna, who somehow looked good two weeks ago despite the Lions being routed in Chitown. I don't know how that happened, but it did.

Matt Hasselbeck will have to be crushed. Manhandled. Obliterated. I want to see him stumbling off to the sideline looking like the drunkest dude in the bar walking out the door at closing time.

Oh, and I want 100 yards from Thomas Jones and 50 from Cedric Benson. That can be done, right? Right.

The pick? Bears 20 Seahawks 10
Straight up: Bears
Spread: Bears -3.5

Colts at Jets: The Colts, as good as they are offensively, might be the most boring team in the NFL. I mean, why are they even playing the season, winning games, and building up hope? I'm serious about this. We all know they can't run the ball or stop others from running the ball and we all know their season will end with a playoff defeat as Peyton Manning looks close to tears while blaming the loss on teammates and Archie Manning comes one step closer to finally realizing his son is a choke artist. Ah, it's all so predictable.

Are the Jets really 2-1?
Straight up: Colts
Spread: Colts -9

Chargers at Ravens: Interesting game for the Chargers, who have built up all sorts of hope already, but have played nobody of any consequence. This trip to the East Coast should clear some things up.

Baltimore? I like the combo of McNair and that always nasty defense, but I can't help the feeling that we're real close to seeing Kyle Boller. McNair can't stay healthy all year, can he?
Straight up: Chargers
Spread: Chargers -2.5

Vikings at Bills: This game just stands out to me as easy money. Are the Vikings really the underdog? I understand the game is in Buffalo, but haven't the Vikings looked like a legit team while the Bills have been, well, crazy? They beat up on the 'Phins in Miami and then get pounded by the Jets at home? Come on now. And how do they get 300 yards from Losman and 150 from McGahee...and lose? I'll tell you why. They're crazy.
Straight up: Vikings
Spread: Vikings +1

Cowboys at Titans: The only good thing to come out of the latest ridiculously dumb "saga" surrounding T.O. are the daily press conferences with Bill Parcells. Oh, that's prime entertainment right there, my friends. Parcells continues to waver between being completely flabbergasted while also looking slightly amused by the whole ordeal. And the way he refers to T.O. as simply "the player" is priceless. And for what it's worth, I think Parcells has been handling it all about as well it could possibly be handled. Big props to the Big Tuna.
Straight up: Cowboys
Spread: Titans +9.5

49ers at Chiefs: If he isn't careful, Alex Smith might just change my opinion that he will be a complete bust. He's looked solid. Meanwhile, who's playing quarterback for the Chiefs these days? Steve DeBerg? Steve Bono? Len Dawson?
Straight up: Chiefs
Spread: 49ers +7

Saints at Panthers: There definitely seems to be a little bit of magic in the air surrounding the Saints these days. And that's a good thing. They can use it. We all can. Their success is a fun story right now. But can it continue on the road in Carolina? Nah, they'll lose, but they'll keep it close.
Straight up: Panthers
Spread: Saints +7

Cardinals at Falcons: Just play Matt Leinart. Seriously. The Cards are dangerously close to letting another season slip away, so just play the kid and see what happens. Kurt Warner was done three years ago. Someone fill in Dennis Green with the news.
Straight up: Falcons
Spread: Falcons -7.5

Dolphins at Texans: Prediction? Mario Williams will get his first-ever sack while re-injuring Daunte Culpepper's knee and somewhere thunder will roar.
Straight up: Dolphins
Spread: Dolphins -3.5

Lions at Rams: The Lions are funny.
Straight up: Rams
Spread: Rams -5.5

Patriots at Bengals: If I'm Tom Brady, I'm fuming right now. The guy restructures his contract to create more cap space and now the Patriots remain $10 million under the cap while letting all sorts of important players go. Listen, that's the type of garbage that can make a good player get up and leave town the first chance he gets. This all sounds like something the Cubs would pull. The karma will be hitting the Patriots hard and swift real soon. In fact, I think it already is.
Straight up: Bengals
Spread: Bengals -6

Jaguars at Redskins: Here's hoping Maurice Jones-Drew keeps doing what he did last week for the Jaguars. Not only could the aging Fred Taylor use the help in the Jags' backfield, but I'll look like a genius for having Jones-Drew on my fantasy team.
Straight up: Redskins
Spread: Redskins +3

Browns at Raiders: Something tells me the Browns aren't as bad as they seem to be. Just a hunch. Meanwhile, Randy Moss continues to dance with karma. It's not a fun dance. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
Straight up: Browns
Spread: Browns -2.5

Packers at Eagles: I'll be honest - even though I'm a Bears diehard and thus supposed to hate the Packers, I'm enjoying the recent rennaissance of Brett Favre. The way the media and fans turned on Favre last year was quite repulsing. Talk about kncoking a guy from his pedestal out of pure mean-spiritedness just because you can, just because a guy is struggling. Ugh. Favre has carried himself with class and grace for his entire career, and then when he needs some time to decide whether or not to retire from the game he has been playing since childhood, he's portrayed as an asshole for not rushing the decision. It was all garbage, petty garbage. No, I'm no fan of the Packers, but it's nice to see Favre possibly having the last laugh here. Good for him.

Speaking of rennaissances, Donovan McNabb is enjoying one of his own at the moment, which is equally as enjoyable. After some yahoos actually portrayed him as a bad guy in the T.O. mess from last year, it's nice to see McNabb bounce right back to his winning ways while T.O. becomes more and more of a running joke. All, somehow, seems a little more right with the world.
Straight up: Eagles
Spread: Packers +11

Last week
Straight up: 8-6
Against the spread: 8-6

Season
Straight up: 20-10
Against the spread: 16-14

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